I recently read the petition of the blind man in Luke 18:41 and found my heart crying the same prayer:
“Lord, I want to see.”
He pleads in humility, with unwavering resolve, and brings his desire before Jesus: “I want to see.”
This blind man teaches me that my prayers don’t have to be long or eloquent. I don’t have to talk around the problem, trying to cover up my need, or act like everything is ok. I can go to Jesus; fully trusting that He will meet me where I am and He’s not afraid of my honesty.
No matter what darkness you are facing: Jesus, the Light of the World, is there to meet you. Maybe He won’t take the darkness away—but He’ll be the light and give you eyes to see Him amidst the dark.
His prayer also convicted me. In seasons of questioning or confusion I have prayed a similar prayer: “Lord, open my eyes! I want to see! I want to understand! I want clarity, I need Your guidance and direction. I am helpless; I need You!” And Jesus has answered by opening my eyes, convicting my heart and revealing something I hadn’t seen before. But I have often been quick to turn and fix my eyes on something else—because I’d rather not acknowledge my weakness or admit my need because I don’t want to do what is required to change. So I choose distraction: there are a million things vying for our attention & it’s so easy to habitually turn to what’s designed to mindlessly entertain, dull the pain, or unsuccessfully satisfy us.
Life is messy, it hurts, it gets uncomfortable, and its easy to think that it would be better to act like it’s all ok; to keep our eyes closed and never have to face the reality of our desperation.
Because honestly: seeing hurts. I’m sure this man stood in wonder and awe as he saw God’s creation for the first time—but I’m sure his heart also broke when he saw pain and injustice that he had only heard or felt before.
But his life was changed forever because of Jesus. I imagine how many times he must’ve shared his story, with tears in his eyes, clouding his vision, proclaiming the goodness of how Jesus answered him. He probably never grew tired of telling his miracle.
Jesus is not ashamed, embarrassed, or turned away by your need—He does not look away in an attempt to keep from making eye contact. He sees. He wants to meet you in your longing. But more than that: He wants to heal, change, and restore you.
This blind man could’ve chosen to keep silent. He could’ve allowed every doubt and fear to keep him quiet. He could’ve listened to the people telling him to be quiet. He could’ve stopped crying out after the 2nd or 3rd try; but he didn’t—because of his desperation he persisted.
This kind of desperation requires humility and hunger. It sounds like “I don’t know, but I’m trusting Jesus; calling out to Him and I will continue to cry out because I know He hears.” It requires you to lay down your pride, your efforts, and depend completely on God.
It’s ok to admit that you’re scared.
It’s ok to say that you don’t understand.
It’s ok to confess that you don’t know the next step.
It’s ok if you feel like you’re still finding your way—we all are.
It’s ok to cry, “Lord, I want to see.”
Instead of walking away and distracting yourself from your need – let Him fill it. Let your need bring you to your knees and to His feet. Don’t run to a quick-fix—go to Him.
Just as desperately as you want to see;
He desperately wants to open your eyes.
“I once was lost but now I’m found.
Was blind but now I see.”
“Open up my eyes to the things unseen;
Show me how to love like You have loved me.”