the lovely unexpected

We all know gratitude is something that should be woven into the fabric of our days, not merely something we do once a year on a holiday, but because it’s been on the forefront of my mind here are some post-thanksgiving thoughts…

 A verse that always comes to mind concerning gratitude is 1 Thessalonians 5:18, which says: “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

While I love that verse, I admit it’s not something I naturally live out… giving thanks, for every thing?? like, every thing…. What does that look like? How is that even possible?

I want to be thankful for the hard things, for the painful things, the losses, the tears, the stories that have yet to be finished, the relationships that have yet to be mended… but I can’t say I’m there yet. Am I supposed to be thankful for those things? As I’ve read that verse over and over, I’ve realized that I don’t think that’s exactly what it’s saying… hear me out.

Here’s something that stands out to me: it says IN every thing, give thanks. It doesn’t say FOR every thing give thanks… there are evil, dark, unjust, horrible things happening every moment. Tragedies, catastrophes, disease, war etc… I don’t think this verse is telling us to be thankful for everything. But I think it is saying that IN every thing, in every situation, we can find a reason to be thankful.

Why?? Because “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) You see: God is not saying that everything that is happening is good, but He is saying that He will work all things FOR THE GOOD in our lives. That’s an important distinction that also displays the mercy of our Lord: how in the midst of such evil and pain we can have confidence, knowing that He is working FOR OUR GOOD. He has not forgotten or forsaken you, He is working, even when you can’t see it.

For some time I equated being thankful with being happy. I thought, in order to give thanks, I had to be happy for the things that were happening. If I didn’t feel joy or happiness then I thought I wasn’t truly thankful. But, now I’m seeing that you can still be thankful for the good God worked in a situation, while mourning and grieving the fact that it happened in the first place.

With that being said, I’ve found myself being thankful for different things this year… I’ve whispered “thank You Jesus” for things I never would’ve imagined I’d be thankful for five years ago. I’m thankful for things that didn’t happen…for timing that wasn’t right… for the waiting… for doors that were closed… for endings that broke my heart…

I want to clarify and say that I know I run the risk of sounding overly positive, attempting to romanticize things or see the world through rose colored glasses…but please know, that is not what I’m trying to do. I think one of the beautiful things about time, and how God uses it in our lives, is how it brings perspective. And that’s where I’m coming from: I’m realizing that the passing of days doesn’t lessen the impact of loss, but it does allow us to look back and see what has come out of such despair. To see things that would’ve never been possible without the valley. I don’t want to minimize the hurt or make it sound like you need to rush to see the beauty when you’re surrounded by ashes. Not at all. But I am saying that one day you will look down and see signs of life sprouting up from the same ground you swore would always be barren. If there’s anything I’ve seen my God do in the lives of those who love Him it’s the way He brings beauty out of something that was anything but beautiful. He brings hope to the hopeless. My faith is not in circumstances or an outcome, it is in the One Who I know will be with me through it all. It is the confidence and trust David spoke of in verse 4 of Psalm 23: “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

There are still situations in my life that are full of uncertainty…things that I am not thankful for, but I want to be thankful IN these things because I know God does not waste our pain. Today I can say that I’m thankful God didn’t let me get my way. I’m thankful He didn’t let me follow my idea of what was good. I’m thankful for how He’s worked in my life and in my heart when all I saw was a dead end, a crushed dream, a broken heart, a “no” or a “not yet.” In spite of my unbelief and my doubt, He never left me.

For so long there were things I desired sooo bad, expectations I was holding onto so tightly with no intention of letting go. For a time I was so focused on things that weren’t happening in my life that I allowed them to gnaw away at my contentment and peace.

But, today? I’m able to look back and praise my Lord in the midst of the things that haven’t happened. I’m not perfect at it, and still struggle, but it’s a little easier. Now I can see: if things had happened the way I had wanted or expected, life would look sooo different today.

He’s slowly taught me to loosen the death grip on my expectations and surrender the timeline to Him. When He says “wait” it’s not because He’s withholding something good from me, it’s because He has something far greater and better than what I currently want for myself. I’m seeing His better plan unfold and I don’t take it for granted.

Without the closed doors I wouldn’t have been able to walk through the ones He opened for me. Without the endings I wouldn’t have experienced the new beginnings He’s writing.

Don’t get me wrong, there are things I’m still struggling to be thankful in. Things I know aren’t finished, stories God’s still writing. He’s not done yet, but I’m learning to be thankful in the hard things that I don’t understand and I want to praise Him in faith, before I see the ending.

Following Jesus has been the most freeing, joy-filled journey. I’m so grateful God’s plans were different than mine. Different than other’s plans for me. Day-to-day you don’t notice much change, and that can be frustrating, but one day you’ll look back and see how far He’s brought you, all He’s done, and the work He’s done IN you. He truly keeps surprising me and His plans are never boring. Knowing He’s always working behind the scenes is so exciting. He’s never sitting, baffled about what should happen next. He loves you, and His plans are not to harm you or destroy you.

Can I encourage you? If there are things in your life you’re looking at and could never imagine being thankful in: be honest. Be honest with God and ask Him to help you praise Him for what He’s doing that you cannot see. That’s something I want to be better at: I want to praise Him before I see the outcome or the victory. You probably won’t see it today, possibly not tomorrow…but in a year? in three years? In eight years? Who knows…one day you’ll look back and have a better perspective of what He was doing all along. Be sincere about what you’re struggling with. Be vulnerable and don’t try to hide your emotions from Him. He’s big enough to handle all your anger, doubt, frustration, disappointment…

If there’s anything He’s done in my heart: He’s infused it with so much hope. He’s brought people into my life whose stories are amazing who I never would’ve met if I’d had my way. Jesus has brought me people to increase my hope in Him: hope I could never fake or manufacture myself. He’s given me hope when I didn’t have hope for myself.

So, my challenge for myself and for you is to thank Him for the hard thing you’re in. The thing that hurt you, that you wouldn’t have picked to be written in your story. Because those are the VERY things He uses to display His glory and you would never have the chance to see such beauty without the ashes.

It’s only by His hand and His grace that we are here today. I want to spend every day thanking Him, in what I don’t understand and in what I can’t explain.

“He has sent Me [Jesus] to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”
Isaiah 61:1b-3

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For a long time I had the mindset that I could earn what I wanted if I was “good” enough, said the right prayers, went to church and read the Bible consistently. Even tho I probably wouldn’t admit, my relationship with God was more like a checklist and I was always trying to earn His approval (instead of living in the approval I already have through Jesus). Because of this mindset I thought that, if I was doing all the “right” things, then God would hear my prayers and grant me the desires of my heart.

Have you ever thought, like me, that the purpose of waiting on God is to get what you want?? That, if you just wait with enough patience and faith you can earn the outcome you are hoping for?

At times I have thought that waiting on God meant that He was obligated to give me what I was waiting for because I had earned and deserved it.

There’s also a temptation to have this thinking towards relationships…that, if you’re honoring God, are waiting patiently, and are content in Him then He is obligated to bring you a spouse. But, if you are wrestling with God’s timing & struggling in singleness, then He’s going to withhold from you until you are content and ready. Like there’s a secret code He’s waiting for you to unlock before you’re ready for marriage.

This thinking is soo harmful because it causes us to become focused on ourselves and our actions leading to self-righteousness, entitlement, or condemnation. And, most of all, it takes away from God’s grace that we can never merit!

One of the most freeing truths about the Gospel is that God gives good gifts to His children by His grace and grace alone. The greatest gift of all, salvation, is a display of His amazing and overwhelming mercy and grace. When we realize that our walk with Christ becomes a joy and our relationship with Him is an outpouring of love and gratitude for all He has done for us that we could never ever earn.

As we wait on God and walk in His grace we see that He is all we need. I know that sounds cliche, but it’s true. Maybe you, like me, have been waiting on God FOR something or for Him to DO something. But, as you seek His face, you find that all you need is IN HIM. There is nothing good that He is withholding from you (even if it may not feel like that at times).

SO, here’s a thought I’ve been pondering… What if waiting is the destination?? You know that corny quote “the journey is the destination” haha it’s kinda like that (but hopefully a little bit less corny.)

Waiting on God is right where He wants us… Perhaps that’s why scripture repeatedly says “wait on the Lord” NOT “wait on the Lord until He gives you ______.” You may feel like you’re stuck in an in-between, pointless waiting season; but what if that is EXACTLY where God wants you?!?!!

During the waiting Jesus works in our hearts in ways that He cannot do otherwise. Romans 5:3-5 says “knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” He produces character in us when we surrender our suffering and waiting to Him.

Although this is something I don’t always want to acknowledge, waiting is not a season we graduate from this side of heaven. He wants us there for the rest of our lives: trusting and depending on Him for everything. Waiting on Him for e-ver-y-th-ing.

Have you ever thought that your season of waiting will end once:
– you graduate college
– you move out
– you land your dream job
– you get a boyfriend
– you get engaged
– you get married
– you buy a house
– you have kids
– your kids have grown
– your kids move out
– you retire
…the list goes on and on

But, what if the waiting doesn’t stop when we get what we’re “waiting for?”

The truth is, our flesh doesn’t want to wait…we want to rely on ourselves and, when we’re honest, we don’t want to wait patiently for anything. But, as we wait, we must continually surrender our story and our journey to Jesus. We may never understand why the journey of waiting has to be so long, but we can trust that He is in control.

This instagram caption was a big realization to me: “the moment we refuse to romanticize our hurt or strangle it until it produces purpose, is the moment we see who God is and what He’s capable of doing with and in the midst of our deep pain … have the courage to believe that telling the truth about your suffering will make way for God to reveal the truth about Himself.”

Sometimes I’m so bent on figuring out the purpose of the season I’m in so I can move on. I often think I can rush the waiting by learning the lesson God is teaching me so I can “pass the test.” But that leads to feelings of failure and it can be hard for me to be vulnerable in the in-between. I don’t want to sit in the pain or feel like I’m not doing enough. But it’s through the pain and the honesty that God can reveal Himself in ways I wouldn’t know otherwise. Being honest before God, and being vulnerable with others, releases you to walk in the joy and the sorrow of each season and walk through that with others. Because every season has its beauty and it’s difficulty.

Waiting is not some cruel exam that we are doomed to retake until we pass.

Waiting is part of the journey with God. And, in His kindness and grace, the waiting is never in vain. We can trust that He is working and moving, even when we can’t see it. Most importantly, we can rest in the fact that our God is never in a hurry and He is never late. He wants to be our everything. The goal is to wait on Him, not on an outcome. He is the prize and the reward; the One who is worthy of our trust and our faith. When the outcome does *or doesn’t* go the way we hoped, we still need Him, every second, every minute, every hour.

If you’re seeking contentment, fulfillment, or satisfaction in ANYTHING else it will leave you empty and searching. As you wait on Jesus you will find that HE is the One you have needed all along. In the waiting, He can show us things we couldn’t see before …things we maybe didn’t realize we needed.

So… don’t rush, don’t fret, or allow anxiety to rob you of the blessings He’s given you today. If you have been walking in condemnation, thinking that God is withholding from you because of what you are *or are not* doing, I pray you are released to walk in the grace and freedom He has for you. Continue to wait on Him and enjoy the journey. He is both the journey and the destination. He is everything.

“All things were created through Him & for Him. And He is before all things & in Him all things consist.” Colossians 1:17

“Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” Psalm 27:14

“My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?
    Why are You so far from saving me,
from the words of my groaning?
² O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer,
    and by night, but I find no rest.

³ Yet You are holy,
    enthroned on the praises of Israel.
⁴ In You our fathers trusted;
    they trusted, and You delivered them.
⁵ To You they cried and were rescued;
    in You they trusted and were not put to shame.“

Psalm 22:1-5

I’ve said this before, but I am soooooo thankful for the honesty of scripture. I’m thankful God didn’t hide the cries, doubts, and prayers uttered by His people in desperation. It reminds us that we are not alone: He sees and He has not forsaken us amidst brokenness and pain.

In the first 2 verses of Psalm 22 David expresses that he feels forgotten and forsaken … God seems far, salvation seems impossible, and David is questioning if God is even listening. David cannot rest; he’s hopeless and distraught.

Twice David cries out “Why?”

Isn’t that a question we’ve all asked… “Why *fill in the blank*?”

David’s honesty reminds me that God is big enough for our “why’s.” You do not need to hide your questions or your struggles for fear that God will be disappointed. How do I know this?? Because Jesus Himself echoed the words of David on the cross when He cried: “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)

We will go through times when we question God’s purpose and wonder why it had to be *this* way. Couldn’t He accomplish His will and plan in a different way?!

But, where do we go from there? When we have these emotions, doubts, and questions, we have a choice: Do we stay focused on everything that hasn’t gone as planned, stay angry at God, and allow the questions to pull us further from Him??

OR do we bring our emotions to God, cry out to Him, remind ourselves of the truth of who He is, and recall His past faithfulness to us and to others??

There are many times when the temptation is strong to stay angry and allow my heart to grow hardened and calloused towards God. My mind can begin to think: He’s not hearing me, He’s forgotten me…

But then, much like David, I have to remind myself: “YET You are holy.”

What is your “yet??” The thing that, even if it doesn’t come to pass, you will still proclaim “YET You are holy.” Despite the confusion, doubt, and questions God does not change. He is the SAME yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) He is still holy: which means He is set apart, sinless, and His ways are perfect. His thoughts are higher than ours and we will not always understand what He is doing or why. (Isaiah 55:8-9, Psalm 115:3)

I’ll never forget hearing a sister in Christ share her testimony of how the Lord was walking with her through the heartbreaking loss of her dear husband. She shared this quote from Spurgeon that has never left my memory: “God is too good to be unkind and He is too wise to be mistaken. And when we cannot trace His hand, we must trust His heart.”

God is big enough to handle our questions, doubts, and fears. But don’t forget that He also has so much more for us! When we walk through doubt it forces us to examine our expectations of who we believed Jesus to be and realize who He truly is. We talked about doubt at church this weekend and my dad shared: “When we walk through doubt, don’t abandon Jesus. Abandon your expectations of Jesus.” When we bring our doubt to God He will use it to refine and deepen our knowledge of who He really is and strip away the false expectations we had of Him!!

We shouldn’t ignore our emotions, but we also should not let them lead or dictate our beliefs and actions. Instead, we should allow our emotions to lead us to the Truth.

In verse 3 David reminds himself of truth and of the power of praise. “[You are] enthroned on the praises of Israel.” God is enthroned, seated, and exalted on the praise of His people. When we choose to worship Him, amidst these emotions, He is glorified and HIS PRESENCE IS THERE.

Lastly, in verses 4 and 5, David reminds Himself of God’s faithfulness to generations past. They trusted and God delivered and rescued. Their trust was not in vain. They were not put to shame.

“Shame” means disappointed, humiliated, confused, unsettled…

I think at the core of many of my doubts and questions is the fact that I don’t want to feel shame for trusting in God. I don’t want others to look at my life and think “oh, look at what trusting in God gets you….” For a long time I wanted my life to measure up to the standard I thought others had for me so I could say “yes! God did that!” and give Him glory for getting what I wanted.

But what about when you don’t get what you wanted???
When your prayer isn’t being answered??

I’m learning that, in those times of uncertainty, you have an even greater opportunity to glorify Jesus. You can say “No, I don’t have _______, but I have Jesus, and now I KNOW that He is all I need.” I haven’t always been able to say that with joy and contentment, but, looking back, I praise God that He didn’t give me the things I thought I needed. Even though it hurt and felt like I was being forgotten or left out, I would’ve never been where I am today without those seasons. It’s easy to give Jesus praise for answered prayers, but what about giving Him glory before the answer?

Following Jesus will cost sacrificing your timeline, your plans, and control. But what you receive in exchange for that surrender is “exceedingly abundantly above all” you could ever ask or think!! (Ephesians 3:20)

And now, I can say with full confidence, that the peace, contentment, and joy I have found in Jesus cannot compare with anything this world has to offer. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my hard days and doubts but I’m learning that God knows better and He can be trusted. God’s thoughts towards us are the only ones that matter so don’t seek to impress, please, or prove yourself to others.

And, please remember that:
The tears you cry are not in vain.
The prayers you’ve prayed are not in vain.
Your trust in God is not in vain.
Your patience is not in vain.
Your faith is not in vain.

I want to end with Psalm 25:3; I love how each of these versions phrases this verse slightly differently:

Let no one who waits on You be ashamed (NKJV)
None who waits for You shall be put to shame (ESV)
No one who trusts in You will ever be disgraced (NLT)
No one who hopes in You will ever be put to shame (NIV)

even when you feel lost, lonely, confused, or unsettled
your patience, trust & hope in the Lord will never be wasted. <3