Things I’m learning – the lovely unexpected

june 22, 2026

On June 21st I boarded my flight in Raleigh and landed in Denmark on June 22nd. Today is July 22nd and just like that I’ve been in Denmark for one month. Today I finished my 4th pet sit and start my 5th one in 3 days.

I’ll never forget the feeling leading up to my flight to Copenhagen. There was a slight pit in my stomach of anticipation, excitement and nerves — it felt like being on a roller coaster, inching slowly towards the top, before the big drop. You know it’s going to be fun… but you don’t fully know what to expect.

Life is crazy, if you would’ve told me in 2021 that I was going to be spending almost 11 weeks, by myself in a country I had never been to I would’ve been *shocked.* I would probably be asking “wait really? what?! why? where?!!”

I didn’t start traveling much until I was 27 and that my big dream destination was (wait for it…) Waco, Texas to visit Magnolia by Chip and Joanna Gaines because I loved watching their home design show. I had done some traveling in the states, had been to Puerto Rico to visit family, Israel and some international missions trips but hadn’t done much traveling for the sole the purpose of seeing a beautiful place and experiencing a new culture. Once I started adding places to my (then very short) bucket list I also fell in love with something I didn’t expect as much: the feeling of walking into a new place or new experience and coming out the other side with a confidence I didn’t have before or learning something new I didn’t know how to do before.

The little challenges and decisions you’re faced with thru traveling or a fun adventure excite me so much: driving on the left side of the road in England, navigating the NYC subway all by myself, skydiving with my brother, trying new food, going on a group trip to the Azores with 13 women I’d never met…and now, getting on a plane to spend the summer solo in Denmark. It’s crazy when something that felt so daunting and out of reach is suddenly attainable and you’re actually doing it (and loving it?!!). The excitement and confidence that comes with doing something new and then it becoming familiar is something I never want to get tired of. Whether thru travel or not, I always want to be learning, trying something new, doing something that scares me a little or chasing a dream that feels a little crazy.

The adrenaline that comes with experiencing something for the first time is thrilling, but something I love just as much is when that nervous excitement wears off and it becomes “familiar” or second nature. I never want to take that for granted.

I’m grateful for the firsts but also don’t want the 26th or 598th time to be any less exciting. I don’t want the familiarity of something to make me calloused or less grateful or in awe. All the little joys or mundane tasks that culminate in a day can easily become drudgery, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

I think one of the most beautiful qualities in people, especially as they get older, is the ability to keep a childlike sense of wonder and excitement over life. Like kids chasing bubbles, dancing to their favorite song or watching fireworks in the sky. Not a care in the world, no inhibition. They see everything as a chance to learn and be curious or excited. But, as time passes, it’s easy for us to stop seeing the world that way and become numb or calloused.

I never want to forget younger me who didn’t know where she would’ve wanted to go if you told her she could go anywhere in the world.

Whether it’s getting on a plane by myself, seeing a beautiful sunset, dancing with my little cousins, swimming in the ocean, getting coffee at my favorite coffee shop, cooking a homemade dinner or laughing with my friends on their living room floor…I don’t ever want to take those things for granted. Yes, there’s nothing like checking a place off your bucket list, but what about the ordinary daily things that may be on someone else’s bucket list that you forgot to keep giving thanks for? Just because you’ve seen the sunrise a thousand times shouldn’t make it become less beautiful.

Traveling has given me an appreciation for all God has blessed me with and it’s given me more confidence for what I can do on my own; it has also opened my eyes to different ways of living that I carry with me. Every place I’ve visited and every memory I’ve made, either on my own or with loved ones, will live with me for the rest of my life. I don’t want traveling to just be a destination I cross off my list, I want it to be something where creation and new cultures change and teach me — where I’m not quite the same as when I stepped on the plane.

Living abroad is something I could see myself doing in the future but I’ve never seen traveling as an escape from my life back home. You cannot use a new place or exciting experience to distract you from something you may be trying to run from or ignore back home. Traveling hasn’t been an escape for me but it has given me the ability to see home with a new perspective and come back a little different than how I left. It reminds me that the child-like wonder and excitement I feel getting off a plane doesn’t have to go away when I’m back in familiar surroundings. And just because something is familiar doesn’t mean that your excitement, wonder or joy has to stop <3

on the other side of risk.

Two months ago, on May 17th, I moved out of my first (rented) home. For two and a half years I called it home and grew so much over that time. I was 28 when I moved in and now am 31. Those walls hold so many memories of living on my own for the first time: I celebrated turning 29 with some of my closest friends around the dining room table. Became friends with the amazing girls I got to call roommates. Hosted movie nights. Celebrated my close friend Amisha’s bachelorette party in the living room. Dinners with Emilio and watched YouTube videos or listened to music after. Ate tacos and watched shows with Liv & Josh. Spent nights with Delise, Brittany, Natalie in my small bedroom with the addition of a twin-size air mattress on the floor. Meals cooked and enjoyed on the porch. Many walks around the neighborhood and to Sola. Cozy nights with a candle lit, listening to music.

It’s not necessarily that I was sad to leave the *house* (although I love so much about it)—what made me most emotional was knowing that I was walking away from a very specific chapter in my life of ‘firsts,’ yet excited to walk into a new chapter.

Moving out was something I had waited a while for cause I really appreciated the time I had living with my family. I’m grateful for the timeline although some may call it “late,” and it has certainly felt that way at times. I’ve learned waiting and patience throughout so much of my life— those two things have bore so much fruit and caused me to cherish God’s provision through each answered prayer. There’s so much peace knowing that God is orchestrating events behind the scenes, even when I question His timing or what He is doing.

So in May I packed up my things, moved in with my Aunt and Uncle and got ready to step into my next adventure. Since 2021 I have spent a lot of time traveling, going on group trips, trips with friends, trips to other countries and seeing more of my county and the world. With that, I’ve always wanted to spend an extended time abroad to get a taste of living in another country. The beginning of this year I started putting my belongings in storage and preparing to call Denmark, a country I had never visited, home for almost 11 weeks this summer. I didn’t have a lot planned but slowly started researching and making arrangements to figure out how I could live/stay there for that long.

As I write this, from a cafe in Copenhagen, I can’t believe I’m here. And I couldn’t of gotten here by myself, the support from my family and friends has truly been so overwhelming.

I’m not saying that what I’m experiencing is a unique or uncommon experience; I know so many people who have moved away from home in their 20’s to create a new life in a new city/state/country—those stories have always inspired & amazed me. I’ve been the girl who did college locally, stayed in my city & planted my roots close to home (something I still wouldn’t trade).

But, since turning 30, my perspective about risk and change has shifted a lot. For a long time change felt daunting, uncertain and overwhelming. In my early 20’s a lot of change happened that was out of my control which made me want to hold on tighter to things I could control. Disclaimer: that’s not a healthy coping mechanism haha (I also think some of my tendencies to be risk averse and desire control also stems from being the oldest child/eldest daughter…still working on that haha)

Now, as time has passed, I’ve accepted that change is a very necessary, unavoidable part of life. Whether the change is positive or negative, it is an opportunity to grow in a new set of circumstances and challenges. God uses change to propel us into something that wasn’t possible before, to grow and change us.

It’s often the anticipation and build up before a big change where I usually tend to overthink and get a little anxious. Where I hesitate and get a pit in my stomach that asks “What are you doing? Are you sure about this? Is this a good idea?”

Getting out of my comfort zone, doing hard things, traveling, and taking more risks has reminded me that I love problem solving, adjusting to a new surroundings, new routines and trying new things. It feels more

More than ever I’ve realized that I would rather try and fail than look back on my life and regret not taking more risks when I had the chance. I know it’s so cliche but it’s true. Life is short & I don’t want to spend it in my comfort zone, wondering what would’ve happened if I had trusted the Lord more or chased the dreams that were in my heart. I’d rather trust the Lord with change in my life and surrender my anxieties to Him than stay in my comfort zone where everything is predicable.

For too long I had an inaccurate view of God’s will where I was scared that one wrong move or wrong decision could ruin everything. That came from such an inaccurate view of God’s heart and what His will actually is. So much of God’s will in scripture has to do with how we live:

Am I giving thanks? (1 thessalonians 5:18)
Am I prayerful? (colossians 4:2)
Am I seeking Him in faith? (hebrews 11:6)
Am I waiting on Him? (psalm 27:14)
Am I joyful in hope? (romans 12:12)
Am I trusting Him? (proverbs 3:5)
Am I resting in Him? (matthew 11:28)
Am I abiding in Him? (john 15:4)
Am I walking in the Spirit & bearing fruit? (galatians 5:22-23)

Those are just a few verses but for the believer, this is God’s will for us matter your job title, relationship status, or season you’re in.

What gifts and dreams do you have? Those are an accident! God placed those in your heart with a plan and a purpose to glorify Him in the way He created you! He is so sovereign that if you are going in a direction that isn’t for you He will make it clear and close doors. We can plan our way while trusting that God is going before directing our steps (Proverbs 16:9). There is nothing more freeing or exciting than finding out the good works He has in store and discovering more of why He made you with the passions, gifts and dreams you have (Ephesians 2:10). “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Don’t let fear hold you back. “Do not fear” is one of the most repeated phrases in the Bible — I think that’s because God knows it holds us back from so much. 1 John 4:8 says “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear…the person who is afraid has not been made perfect in love.” My prayer lately is that God’s love would continue to drive out fear in me.

Here’s to embracing change, taking small steps of faith, trusting Him, letting go of fear and taking risks. Don’t let uncertainty hold you back. Take the leap and leave the results in God’s hands. Give yourself permission to change your mind and try something new. Life is literally a vapor, it’s so short—make the most of where you are while you wait patiently on the Lord for where He’s bringing you next. God is bringing you somewhere and making you into someone beyond your understanding or comprehension. Trust Him and take the risk: there are no better arms to fall into <3

“to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us” Ephesians 3:20

give thanks?

We all know gratitude is something that should be woven into the fabric of our days, not merely something we do once a year on a holiday, but because it’s been on the forefront of my mind here are some post-thanksgiving thoughts…

A verse that always comes to mind concerning gratitude is 1 Thessalonians 5:18, which says: “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

While I love that verse, I admit it’s not something I naturally live out… giving thanks, for every thing?? like, every thing…. What does that look like? How is that even possible?

I want to be thankful for the hard things, for the painful things, the losses, the tears, the stories that have yet to be finished, the relationships that have yet to be mended… but I can’t say I’m there yet. Am I supposed to be thankful for those things? As I’ve read that verse over and over, I’ve realized that I don’t think that’s exactly what it’s saying… hear me out.

Here’s something that stands out to me: it says IN every thing, give thanks. It doesn’t say FOR every thing give thanks… there are evil, dark, unjust, horrible things happening every moment. Tragedies, catastrophes, disease, war etc… I don’t think this verse is telling us to be thankful for everything. But I think it is saying that IN every thing, in every situation, we can find a reason to be thankful.

Why?? Because “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) You see: God is not saying that everything that is happening is good, but He is saying that He will work all things FOR THE GOOD in our lives. That’s an important distinction that also displays the mercy of our Lord: how in the midst of such evil and pain we can have confidence, knowing that He is working FOR OUR GOOD. He has not forgotten or forsaken you, He is working, even when you can’t see it.

For some time I equated being thankful with being happy. I thought, in order to give thanks, I had to be happy for the things that were happening. If I didn’t feel joy or happiness then I thought I wasn’t truly thankful. But, now I’m seeing that you can still be thankful for the good God worked in a situation, while mourning and grieving the fact that it happened in the first place.

With that being said, I’ve found myself being thankful for different things this year… I’ve whispered “thank You Jesus” for things I never would’ve imagined I’d be thankful for five years ago. I’m thankful for things that didn’t happen…for timing that wasn’t right… for the waiting… for doors that were closed… for endings that broke my heart…

I want to clarify and say that I know I run the risk of sounding overly positive, attempting to romanticize things or see the world through rose colored glasses…but please know, that is not what I’m trying to do. I think one of the beautiful things about time, and how God uses it in our lives, is how it brings perspective. And that’s where I’m coming from: I’m realizing that the passing of days doesn’t lessen the impact of loss, but it does allow us to look back and see what has come out of such despair. To see things that would’ve never been possible without the valley. I don’t want to minimize the hurt or make it sound like you need to rush to see the beauty when you’re surrounded by ashes. Not at all. But I am saying that one day you will look down and see signs of life sprouting up from the same ground you swore would always be barren. If there’s anything I’ve seen my God do in the lives of those who love Him it’s the way He brings beauty out of something that was anything but beautiful. He brings hope to the hopeless. My faith is not in circumstances or an outcome, it is in the One Who I know will be with me through it all. It is the confidence and trust David spoke of in verse 4 of Psalm 23: “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

There are still situations in my life that are full of uncertainty…things that I am not thankful for, but I want to be thankful IN these things because I know God does not waste our pain. Today I can say that I’m thankful God didn’t let me get my way. I’m thankful He didn’t let me follow my idea of what was good. I’m thankful for how He’s worked in my life and in my heart when all I saw was a dead end, a crushed dream, a broken heart, a “no” or a “not yet.” In spite of my unbelief and my doubt, He never left me.

For so long there were things I desired sooo bad, expectations I was holding onto so tightly with no intention of letting go. For a time I was so focused on things that weren’t happening in my life that I allowed them to gnaw away at my contentment and peace.

But, today? I’m able to look back and praise my Lord in the midst of the things that haven’t happened. I’m not perfect at it, and still struggle, but it’s a little easier. Now I can see: if things had happened the way I had wanted or expected, life would look sooo different today.

He’s slowly taught me to loosen the death grip on my expectations and surrender the timeline to Him. When He says “wait” it’s not because He’s withholding something good from me, it’s because He has something far greater and better than what I currently want for myself. I’m seeing His better plan unfold and I don’t take it for granted.

Without the closed doors I wouldn’t have been able to walk through the ones He opened for me. Without the endings I wouldn’t have experienced the new beginnings He’s writing.

Don’t get me wrong, there are things I’m still struggling to be thankful in. Things I know aren’t finished, stories God’s still writing. He’s not done yet, but I’m learning to be thankful in the hard things that I don’t understand and I want to praise Him in faith, before I see the ending.

Following Jesus has been the most freeing, joy-filled journey. I’m so grateful God’s plans were different than mine. Different than other’s plans for me. Day-to-day you don’t notice much change, and that can be frustrating, but one day you’ll look back and see how far He’s brought you, all He’s done, and the work He’s done IN you. He truly keeps surprising me and His plans are never boring. Knowing He’s always working behind the scenes is so exciting. He’s never sitting, baffled about what should happen next. He loves you, and His plans are not to harm you or destroy you.

Can I encourage you? If there are things in your life you’re looking at and could never imagine being thankful in: be honest. Be honest with God and ask Him to help you praise Him for what He’s doing that you cannot see. That’s something I want to be better at: I want to praise Him before I see the outcome or the victory. You probably won’t see it today, possibly not tomorrow…but in a year? in three years? In eight years? Who knows…one day you’ll look back and have a better perspective of what He was doing all along. Be sincere about what you’re struggling with. Be vulnerable and don’t try to hide your emotions from Him. He’s big enough to handle all your anger, doubt, frustration, disappointment…

If there’s anything He’s done in my heart: He’s infused it with so much hope. He’s brought people into my life whose stories are amazing who I never would’ve met if I’d had my way. Jesus has brought me people to increase my hope in Him: hope I could never fake or manufacture myself. He’s given me hope when I didn’t have hope for myself.

So, my challenge for myself and for you is to thank Him for the hard thing you’re in. The thing that hurt you, that you wouldn’t have picked to be written in your story. Because those are the VERY things He uses to display His glory and you would never have the chance to see such beauty without the ashes.

It’s only by His hand and His grace that we are here today. I want to spend every day thanking Him, in what I don’t understand and in what I can’t explain.

“He has sent Me [Jesus] to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”
Isaiah 61:1b-3

can i trust You?

it’s been a minute since i’ve been on here… honestly, it’s been hard for me to press “publish” on other drafts cause I feel like they’re only telling portions of a story I haven’t been ready to share about, until now… (insert dramatic music. jk)

To share what’s ahead does requires some backstory, so here we go…

The beginning of 2022 I had to end a relationship and it really crushed me. I was crushed, not because it had been long-term, but because I had such high hopes for how it would end (or I guess… not end). Breaking off that relationship was the last thing I wanted but knew I had to after seeing a pattern of dishonesty and distrust.

Walking out of that I felt disillusioned, confused and stuck. Stuck in every way and in every area of my life: physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally… and everything felt dark. Things I had always enjoyed felt empty and I did not feel like myself…I felt helpless. And I cried. A lot.

Through the care of my family, prayers my parents prayed behind closed doors, encouragement from friends, and God’s grace, Jesus pulled me out of that dark place. He was the light showing me the way out and He replaced my confusion with clarity. He brought people I barely knew, but are now close friends, into my life to hold my hand and help walk me out.

The “stuck” feeling that had defined me started to shift: Physically, I realized that I didn’t want to wait to do things that I had always envisioned doing once I was married. I started traveling with friends, taking trips on my own and was embracing the freedom and excitement of this time in my life. Emotionally, I was feeling like myself again and had moved past the regrets of that relationship. And mentally, I started going to therapy the beginning of 2023 after debating for a loonngg time whether or not I should go (little tip a friend shared with me: if you’re debating, that means you should go. Therapy has been a huge answer to prayer and it’s been one of the best *and hardest* decisions.)

But, one thing didn’t go away was a feeling of being spiritually stuck. It’s like I was numb. I had, pretty consciously, built a wall between me and God. I knew God loved me but, when I was brutally honest, I didn’t know if I could trust Him. My heart felt guarded and I was scared of anything that could cause a repeat of the kind of pain I had experienced.

During this time I was wrestling with some honest questions that were swirling in my head towards God: “Why didn’t You protect me from that hurt? Why did You allow me to pursue that relationship if You knew it would end that way? Don’t You know I already feel betrayed enough? My sister leaving, now this? Can I really trust You?”

I’ve struggled with trusting God, especially after walking through church hurt… In 2017 my family and I left a church we had gone to since I was 8 and had attended and served in for 15 years. Moral of that story, I’d encourage you to do research before attending or supporting Calvary Chapel Cary, here’s an article explaining only some of the reasons why: https://julieroys.com/calvary-chapel-pastor-addiction-abuse/. I still hear stories and am meeting people who have walked through the spiritual manipulation and neglect that is perpetuated by the “pastor” and leadership within those walls, 6 years later.

Experiencing betrayal, manipulation and deception in church, the very place that should be safe and free of those things, has caused me wrestle with God. Then, experiencing it in a relationship that I had such high hopes for, caused me to wonder if trusting God was safe, could He really be trusted? Wasn’t He supposed to be protecting my heart? Protecting me and my family? My sister? Not allowing these things to happen?

Any loving parent would do anything to keep their child from being hurt, right? So how could my Heavenly Father allow this?

I didn’t understand how He could allow me to start walking down a path that would end in a breakup or heartache… Couldn’t He just put a big “HURT AHEAD” warning sign at the start of the path so I could avoid it all together??

As I’ve been honest with these emotions, asking God what He was doing, I am learning one thing… He isn’t trying to bubble wrap my life to keep me from making mistakes or avoiding hurt and pain. For a long time I had thought that was His job.

A huge lightbulb went off for me when I realized that walking in faith doesn’t equate to avoiding hurt. Sometimes walking in His will means you will be betrayed (like He was) and experience pain. If my heart is broken or a situation ends unexpectedly, it isn’t because He’s abandoned me…no, He is with me, protecting me within the pain.

See, I mistook His protection as meaning I would be protected from hurt, protected from pain, and never experience them. But that’s not His protection at all. His protection is in the midst of the hurt and the trial. Whatever feels like it’s going to destroy me in the present, is working FOR ME eternally.

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.” 2 Cor 4:17-18

Looking back on that relationship, I prayed multiple times for God to reveal things about his character and, if there were red flags or things that needed to come to the light, I prayed for God to show me. And God did! Within 4 months I had my answer. But, when that answer wasn’t the one I had wanted, I was devastated.

God’s protection means that all these things (heartbreak, crushed expectations, confusion, betrayal, loss, pain, death, destruction, etc) don’t have the final word. What the enemy intends to destroy you, God redeems and purposes for good and growth in your life! “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day…” Genesis 50:20

When He says “No weapon formed against you shall prosper” (Isaiah 54:17) that doesn’t mean weapons won’t be formed…they simply won’t prosper!!

I’m also really glad that God doesn’t bubble wrap our lives. You see, we bubble wrap things because we’re afraid they could be broken. But, unlike us, God isn’t fearful and He doesn’t want us to be!! If He sees the end from the beginning and He’s not afraid, then I don’t have to be either!! He tells us that perfect love casts out all fear.

1 John 4:18 says “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

Walking with Jesus should give us SO much confidence: because we know that He has only good things for us (Romans 8:32). He will show us when we are settling for less or going the wrong way. When He loving asks us to surrender something (even if it’s something that seems good!) we can trust that it’s because He has better for us. Even when we question His judgement, or wonder why it has to be so painful, we know that He loves us and He works everything, especially the pain, to show us more of Himself and develop character, trust, and faith in us.

Life doesn’t come with a pain-free guarantee, even though we frequently do everything we can to avoid it. For too long I was scared to do anything because I thought that pain or unexpected outcomes were a consequence of doing something wrong. But then I realized that the Bible is full of examples of men and women who were in the middle of God’s will and they experienced hurt and pain. Jesus is the ultimate example of that! God’s perfect will and plan for Jesus was death on the cross. But what looked like destruction on the outside wasn’t the end of the story. Redemption came through His death; which tells us that when things need to die in our life God is still working and He is still redeeming.

My dad has recently been saying: “Don’t write a period where God has placed a comma.” And that’s so true. He’s not finished.

To end, Isaiah 61:1-3 sooo richly describes God’s purpose in sending Jesus:
“He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
²To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
³To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

You see how that ends?!? THAT HE MAY BE GLORIFIED.

Jesus’ purpose was to glorify God and His death on the cross, the thing that brought Him the most pain, was a part of that. These verses don’t promise protection from a broken heart, from captivity, from mourning, from ashes, or from heaviness. But those verses DO promise JESUS amidst those things. HE is our healer, our freedom, the One who comforts, who consoles, our oil of joy, our garment of praise… we can be courageous, unafraid, and unmoved by the trials that tempt to sweep us away because our victory is IN HIM: “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Cor. 15:57.

When we hear His Word, and walk in it, we will be like a house built on the rock, not on the shifting sand (Matthew 7:24-27). As the winds blow and the storms rage, may He be glorified cause He is our anchor, our firm foundation. <3

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf.” Hebrews 6:19-20a

“For the Lord your God is the One who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” Deuteronomy 20:4