To a Younger Me…

If you could write a letter for a younger you to read what would it say?

Here’s what I would say:


I wish I could tell you that life is going to be everything you dreamed it would be…that you’ll never be tempted to give up hope and when you’re faith gets tested it’ll only grow stronger.  I wish I could tell you those you love will always be close and your optimism will stay intact even when cruelties try to steal it away.  That, although there will be hurt and sorrow, you’ll never doubt the goodness of your God and you’ll draw nearer to Him when you wear pain like a second skin.

But I can’t.

Because things will not turn out the way you thought and expected.  People will let you down, you will be disappointed and left with the broken pieces of a life you once knew.

What if I told you that you will experience and see the injustice in the world.  You will feel the ache and sting of saying “goodbye.”  Your heart will long to stay but you’ll have to leave and your world will be shattered like you didn’t know possible.

But despite all this…I can tell you life is still beautiful.  Don’t forget that.  But you must learn to see it.

You must learn to see the beauty in the ordinary and not take the sweet simplicity of life for granted.  You must learn to number those simplicities one by one and be thankful: for home cooked meals, for movie nights, for rainy days, for your dad’s wisdom and your mom’s smile, for your sister’s laugh and your brother’s kindness, for summer days, and hot tea, for long days and long drives, for your hometown, for vacations and spontaneous adventures, for music and singing, for games and potlucks, for Bible studies and discipleship circles, for prayer partners and lunch with friends, for loading the dishes and eating your favorite food, for waking up early, breathing in the crisp air, and taking long walks…you must learn to cherish them because you’re not promised that they’ll be there tomorrow.

I can tell you that one day you will even be able to say “Thank You” for the pain because it DOES bring a lovely contrast that you wouldn’t have known otherwise.  The hurt is not beautiful in itself, but it is a gift of sorts that you must ask Jesus for the eyes and humility to see. Because He has promised to be with you ALWAYS you can walk in faith—not in fear.  You do not have to fear what unexpected heartbreak or tragedy you will walk through. Because He’ll be with you.  And He’s all you need. One day you’ll see how it’s made you weaker and stronger at the same time, and they’re both needful. The unexpected has a way of stripping away every false hope and every unmerited expectation you’ve put on man. A way of peeling your gripped fingers—one by one—off of the control you once thought you held — only to learn it was an illusion all along.  And a way of exposing and tearing you down till you feel raw and vulnerable—but TRUST because in that place His presence will be even more tangible.

His comfort will be as real as the pain and His healing as apparent as the wound.


As I write these words now a part of me knows I’m writing them for an older me to read too…when my heart is broken again and I’m tempted to give up because I don’t think I can take any more. I will be able to look back and remember how He has carried a younger me through. And just because it doesn’t work out how I ‘dreamed’ His thoughts and plans are higher and better than anything I could ever dream up. And I can be reminded:

that He will do it again.

 

“In time, I’ll let you in on everything I’m planning.
When it’s time, I’ll let you see everything you’re asking Me.
When it’s time, you will know why there are things I’m hiding from you.
But I’m gonna satisfy everything in the meantime.”

“In The Meantime” by Jess Ray

Why Pain?

“Come, let us return to the Lord.
For He has torn us, but He will heal us;
He has wounded us, but He will bandage us…
So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.” – Hosea 6

God has purpose for the pain we experience…but do we believe that?

Pain breaks, tears, and wounds. You cannot brace yourself for the blow or the way it will leave you feeling: vulnerable, betrayed, lonely, confused, broken, hopeless. And that’s why It is our instinct to avoid pain.  We would rather hear about and experience comfort and prosperity. But, as Christians, we follow Jesus; the Man of sorrows aquatinted with grief (Isaiah 53:3).  If our Savior chose to be identified in such a way, how do we expect to live a pain free life?

When we pray “Jesus, make me more like You” do we mean it?

The truth is: the closer I am aquatinted with pain and grief and sorrow, the more like Jesus I become and the more I can empathize with the hurting like Jesus did.  The Bible calls it ‘the fellowship of His sufferings’ in Phil. 3:10. Do not allow the very thing that God desires to use to draw you closer to Him harden your heart towards Him.  Like the verse says: LET Him heal you. LET Him bandage you. What is pain’s purpose? For you to learn to press on to KNOW Him. HE is the purpose.

Is it enough for me if the purpose of the pain is for me to KNOW Him more?  Simply so I can experience His healing?

I don’t need to live afraid of pain like the rest of the world because my God is a Comforter and Healer, Redeemer and Restorer.  I don’t need to be hopeless or despairing when I’m blindsided by betrayal. Pain has an incomparable way of allowing us to know our own desperation which leads us to PRESS ON to KNOW Jesus. If you’re not allowing the pain in your life to accomplish that in you… then bring it to Jesus’ feet. LET HIM heal, bind, and accomplish His purpose.  Because of Jesus we can ENDURE the hurt; just like HE DID-for the JOY that was set before Him.  We can have joy because He is here. (Heb. 12:2)

I’m learning this, day by day.  Joy in the midst of pain.  Hope in the midst of sorrow.  Knowing Him while all else that I’ve known is falling apart.  It’s not easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for comfort because I’m getting to know the Comforter (2 Cor 1.3-5), the One who empathizes with my weakness (Heb 4:15).

Allow what seems hopeless to lead you to hope in Him.


“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15.13

 

Draw Near

What are you facing in life that you never would’ve expected?  In those times of shock, heartbreak, and confusion this verse comforts me:

“Do do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
  -Isaiah 40:10

In that verse, notice God doesn’t say He’ll take away what is making you afraid and dismayed; instead He reminds you that He is with you – so you don’t need to be fearful.  He is your God. He will strengthen and uphold you. Even if the struggle you’re in doesn’t improve and the circumstance is still hard.

When people and situations leave you disappointed, you can trust that He will accomplish His purpose. When you’re thirsty, hopeless, and hungry He says “I am your Living Water, I am your Hope, I am your Bread of Life.” HE is everything you need. And maybe you didn’t realize that before.

One day you’ll look at your scars and see the purpose: how He redeemed and restored you.  Then, when the unexpected hits you again, you’ll look back and remember how He worked it out and made your faith grow stronger in the process. He made it lovely then and He promises to do it again. His purpose is for you to draw near so He can show you that He is all you need and all you’ve needed all along.

If you’re telling yourself “I never expected to be here” Jesus is with you there. Wherever you are, “draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” James 4:8

What has proven to be unexpected for you was foreseen and designed by Him.

Do you trust Him?

 

“I will, trust, here in the mystery, I will trust in You completely…
You taught my feet to dance upon disappointment
And I, I will worship”

Heroes by Amanda Cook

Now What?

Life doesn’t turn out to be everything you expected.
What you dreamed.
What you hoped.

And if you’ve ever felt like that, I’m sure you’ve asked yourself:

“Now what?”

When your heart is broken. When you say “goodbye” to those you love and face your greatest fear. When you think it’d be better to give up your hopes, dreams, and expectations because they don’t come true anyway. When you’re tempted to take matters “into your own hands” and make what you believe needs to happen reality. When you’re scared to trust so you build walls around the ashes where your childlike faith and optimism once stood because you think you’re protecting yourself from being hurt again.

When circumstances, people, and trials try to shove you in a corner and tell you to stand there defeated, hopeless, discouraged, disappointed, cynical, and hurt…are you going to listen? Are you listening to them right now? There is too much you’ll lose if you choose to live that way.

Let me tell you: Jesus has more for you. He’s been teaching me that.

When all you see are ashes, He sees the rubble rebuilt. When all you see are wounds, He is there healing you. When you are weak, He promises to be your strength. When all you feel is fear, His perfect love is there to cast it out. (1 John 4:18)

“Let love come teach me who You are again
Would you take me back to the place where my heart was only about You
And all I wanted was just to be with You” – lyric from ‘In Over My Head’ by Bethel