Category: When life is hard

 

“I think we either lean in close and risk it all or we stay ruled by the fear of losing” -pg 168

 

In June I read “Come Matter Here” by Hannah Brencher. She talks a lot about the fear and anxiety that comes with change or the prospect of change.  Maybe you can relate to thinking of all the reasons something could never work out or why the thing you’re dreaming for could never really happen. Or the fear that overtakes you when what you hoped for begins to happen and you freeze, asking “Wait. Is this really what I wanted?”

Jesus has just been reminding me to listen to His voice & let truth silence the lies. He has a story so much greater for you: don’t let fear steal it.

“There is so much good in sticking with something and not giving up. I hope you learn that faith isn’t a thing to check off a list; it’s a lifelong pursuit. Don’t run from this stuff; run towards it with everything you have. While I don’t hope that something comes along to break your heart I know it inevitably will.  And so, when the storm kits and the darkness tries to win I hope you remember that your spirit is made of something thick and durable. You’re a fighter, and no one gets to take that from you. That darkness doesn’t get to have you. I hope you never get too scared to speak out your story. Your story isn’t a burden; it’s a healing balm.. May God use it to fix and restore; encourage and revive." -H.B. pg 232

 

If we are not renewing our minds in the truth of God’s Word, allowing it to transform us, we will continue in the same comfortable, unhealthy patterns.

 

“Usher in hope where fear wants to stand.” - H.B. pg 47

 

I recently read John chapter 3 when Jesus is talking to Nicodemus; in their conversation Jesus repeatedly says, “I tell you the truth.” Jesus is challenging everything Nicodemus knew or presupposed about Him but ultimately it comes down to a choice for Nicodemus: he could fall back on what he had always known and reject Jesus’ words or choose to believe the truth about Jesus and follow Him.

 

“Life isn’t about the destinations  we can boast about getting to; it’s about all the walking in between that feels pointless when you try to take a picture of it because no one will understand it like you do. It’s the in between stuff that fleshes out a story: gives it guts and transformation.” -H.B. pg 31

 

Everyday I am faced with the same decision: Will I allow the same lie to play over in my mind on repeat? Will I turn back to fear because it’s what I’ve done all along and the prospect of change is scary?

 

“Maybe you’ve been in my spot before...It’s the moment when you had really high expectations for something and it just didn’t work out the way you thought it would. You did your best, but you feel like God has other plans and maybe you weren’t prepared for that. I am learning that God doesn’t bring us places to meet our expectations. For Him, it’s a lot more about transformation.” -H.B. pg 71

 

No matter the lie fear is telling me & no matter how I feel, who Jesus is does not and will not change. I have the choice to listen to His voice, renew my mind in the truth, and let Him remind me of who He is and who He created me to be.  And I pray you will choose the same.

 

“For years, I was consumed by what it would mean to “matter” in this world. To people. To someone special. To God.

I think we’ve all felt that. We want to know that our lives matter, that this isn’t some crazy accident we all got stuck inside of. I started to chase after whatever the world told me mattered. Success. Acclaim. Love. Happiness. I became obsessed with this idea of “getting there,” wherever “there” was. I was in a constant state of waiting to arrive somewhere better.

I didn’t know yet that all the good things—like faith, love, trust—don’t happen overnight. You can’t pick them up from the drive-thru or snag them in an instant download. It’s easier to run after the next thing the world tells you matters. It’s easier to never do the hard work of planting your roots or letting people in as you grab your suitcase and run hard toward “the next thing.”— But when you get tired of running, there’s a better story waiting to begin. I promise, it’s better. Yet there’s a catch: you’ll just have to stick around long enough. You’ll have to dig in and do the work—the work that happens in the here and now.” -H.B. pg 16

 

“Our goal as people who follow Christ should be no less than becoming people who are madly in love with God.”

“God wants us to trust Him with abandon. He wants to show us how He works and cares for us.  He wants to be our refuge.” – Crazy Love by Francis Chan

Yes, this book came out in 2008 (10 years ago?!) and I just read it for the 1st time last month… but: Whew. It’s good.  Francis Chan writes about the love of God and the way our lives would look if we truly lived out the words of Jesus and lived as He intended us to. God did not send His Son so we could simply sit in pews and listen to “good sermons” week after week; lives wasted in useless routine. Those have a place of importance but they do not bring salvation or a relationship with Jesus.  Following Jesus & looking like Him is not burdensome but is natural and a mere overflow—not a checkbox on a list—when we are consumed and motivated His ever faithful, gracious, never-failing love.  I remember when I stopped looking at church, Jesus, and the Bible as a set of rules and it completely changed my whole perspective. I realized that God created joy and has called us to a life of abundant purpose in Him: not in material, temporary wealth. He doesn’t keep us from enjoyment, He gives us boundaries so we can enjoy Himself & His blessings to the fullest.  1 John 5:3-4 says: “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.” 

Self-sacrifice, faith, love and joy will define our daily lives when we have a clear view of Christ & His love.  Thru reading this book, these are a few questions I was challenged to ask myself:

• In what areas in my life am I actively walking by faith? 
• What am I doing to reach out to those who I typically wouldn’t?
• Am I seeking my own safety and comfort more than God’s design and will for my life?
• How am I practically, daily laying my life down for others?
• What risks am I taking, trusting that God will guide and provide?
• What places in my heart and mind have grown apathetic and complacent?

These are questions I know I’ll be asking for the rest of my life and I’m grateful for books like these that reveal places in my heart where I’ve been holding onto pride, selfishness and unbelief.  Definitely a book I see myself picking up again in the future.  Here are my favorite quotes:

“There are reason that we are where we are and who we are—they aren’t random.  It is the same with joy in our lives.  We tend to think of joy as something that ebbs sand flows depending on the day or season of life we’re in.  But joy is something that doesn’t come and go; it is something we must choose and work for.  It needs cultivation.  When life gets painful or something doesn’t go as we hoped, it’s normal for a bit of our joy to slip away.  But the Bible teaches that true joy is formed in the midst of the difficult seasons of life. — A person who is obsessed with Jesus is more concerned with their character than their comfort. Those who are overwhelmed by God’s love know that true joy does not depend on environment or circumstances. It is a gift that must be CHOSEN and CULTIVATED; a gift that ultimately comes from God.”

“The American church loves to make celebrities of their saints. To make the stories known of humble people who serve Christ faithfully. There can be a tragic consequence to this: too many people fall for the praise and start to believe that they really are something special. It’s pride. Plain & simple, that keeps me from giving God all the glory and keeping some of it for myself.”

“People who are obsessed with God are raw & honest before Him. They do not attempt to mask the ugliness of their sin or failure…they know God is their refuge, a safe place, where they can be at peace.”

“Awhile back I had a free evening and had the idea to go to the store and buy some items for those in need. It was a good idea and something I wanted my life to be characterized by, but it was embarrassing because I realized that everyone I knew had enough. I didn’t know many people who were true in need & I needed to change that. I needed to go and intentionally meet those who don’t live like me, think like I do, & who could never repay me.  Most people think about life on earth way too much—all our time, energy, and money is channeled on that which is temporary. When Christians sacrifice & give wildly to the poor, that is truly a light that glimmers. When people gladly sacrifice their time or comfort or home it is obvious that they trust in the promises of God. People who are obsessed with Jesus live lives that connect them with the poor in some way—Jesus talked about money & the poor so often because it is really important to Him.”

“‘What are you doing right now that requires faith?’—That question affected me deeply because at that time I could think of nothing in my life that required faith.  I probably wouldn’t be living very differently if I didn’t believe in God.  My life was neither ordered nor affected by my faith like I had assumed it was.  Furthermore: when I looked around, I realized that I was surrounded by people who lived the same way I did.  Life is comfortable when you separate yourself from people who are different from you.  That epitomizes what my life was like: characterized by comfort.  But God doesn’t call us to comfort. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come thru.”

“It ought to be the business of everyday to prepare for our final day.”

“The concept of downsizing so that others might upgrade is Biblical, beautiful…and nearly unheard of today. Dare to imagine what it would mean for you to take the words of Jesus seriously.  Dare to imagine your own children in poverty…dare to believe that those really are your brothers and sisters.”

“We are loaded down with too many good things, more than we could ever need, while others are desperate for water & their next meal. The good things we hoard are more than just money: we hoard our time, resources, gifts, families, and friends. When we begin the practice of regular giving we see how ludicrous it is to hold onto the abundance God has given us and merely repeat the words ‘thank you.’”

“There is more to faith than friendliness, politeness, or even kindness. I think that we sometimes assume that because we are nice people, people will know that we are Christians and want to know more about Jesus.  [the great commission, our call and purpose is not simply to be nice] True faith is loving a person after they have hurt you: that love and faith is incomprehensible to the world.  Who has hurt you? Who do you avoid? Who avoids you? Am I willing to do good to those people?  To reach out to them?”

 

“‘I am afraid,’ she said ‘I have been told that if you really love someone you give that loved one the power to hurt and pain you in a way nothing else can’…’To love does mean to put yourself into the power of the loved one and to become very vulnerable to pain, and you are very Much-Afraid of pain, are you not?’ ‘Yes, very much afraid of it’ she replied, shamefacedly. ‘But it is so happy to love, even if you are not loved in return. There is pain too certainly, but Love does not think that very significant.’” (pg 11)

“O Shepherd, when you said that love and pain go together…how truly You spoke.” (pg. 36)

What is your greatest fear? Can you relate to weighing pro’s and con’s only to allow fear to paralyze you from making a decision? What fears have you faced?  Fear of the unknown?  Fear of rejection?  I’ve been asking myself: what have I grown so accustomed to living in fear of that it’s become a part of who I am, that I’ve stopped fighting against and have accepted as “normal.”  What is this fear holding me back from? Who would I be and where would I be if it no longer bound me? What if I was completely free from fear…. ?

“You, my Lord, never regarded me as I actually was, lame and weak and crooked and cowardly. You saw me as I would be. You always treated me with the same love and graciousness as though I were a queen already and not wretched little Much-Afraid.” (pg 230)

Near the end of 2016 I was sitting in a circle with girls from church and we were discussing this topic of fear.  When it was my turn to confess my greatest fear I responded: “Losing those I love.”  Not knowing all the changes that would take place in my life in 2017, I know look back and know that God knew my greatest fear and that I needed to surrender it to Him.  In 2017 one of my dear friends from that circle looked at me in the eyes and said: “Do you remember what your greatest fear was?”  I nodded. And I took it as her saying: “You’re still here. You’re walking through your greatest fear. God’s holding you and He’s in control.”

“Will you suffer yourself to lose or be deprived of all that you have gained on this journey to the High Places? Will you go down this path of forgiveness into the valley of loss, just because it is the way that I have chosen for you? Will you trust and still love me?” (pg 161)

“Every circumstance in life, no matter how crooked and distorted and ugly it appears to be, if it is reacted to in love and forgiveness and obedience to Your will, can be transformed..that is the only real satisfactory way of dealing with evil: not simply binding it so it cannot work harm, but whenever possible: overcoming it with good.” (pg 230)

Fast forward to January 2018 and I’m reading “Hinds Feet on High Places”—a book about a girl named “Much-Afraid” whose fear has crippled and deformed her, she then meets the Shepherd (Jesus) who promises to transform her and make her as the deer who leap without fear as they follow Him.  During her journey Suffering and Sorrow join as her companions and Much-Afraid learns to embrace them as an essential part of the journey.

“It is only up on the High Places of Love that anyone can receive the power to pour themselves down in an utter abandonment of self-giving…I never knew before, that the Valley is such a beautiful place and so full of song.”  (pg. 47)

I’ve also been listening to a podcast called “Going Scared,” where women share their stories of courage and emphasize that courage is not the absence of fear but rather is going despite of your fears.

“Remember also that it is always safe to obey My voice, even if it seems to call you to a paths which look impossible or even crazy.” (pg 80)

So I’ve been thinking again…what do I fear?

“He will never be content until He makes me what He is determined I ought to be. I wonder what He plans to do next and if it will hurt very much indeed?” (pg 166)

“Always go forward along the path of obedience as far as you know it until I intervene, even if it seems to be leading you where you fear I could never mean you to go.” (pg 175)

At the root of all my fear is unbelief and a lack of trust in God. While reading “Hinds Feet on High Places” I saw myself in Much-Afraid & I can relate to the way her fears crippled her.  And I remind myself that in reality, I have no reason to be afraid: when I focus on Christ & His promises–I know He will take care of me.  I know He’s going to guide me, even though the path seems unclear at times. I can cast all my cares & fears on Him, because He cares for me.  Don’t forget that He cares.  He really, truly does.  You can trust your greatest fear in His hands: He does not promise that you’ll never face it, it simply promises that He will be with you.  And that is enough.

“She marveled at the grace, love, tenderness, and patience which had led, trained, guarded, and kept poor faltering Much-Afraid, which had not allowed her to turn back, and which had now changed all her trials into glory.” (pg 217)

“Because He is with me, I will fear no evil, what can man do to me?” Psalm 118:6
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod & Your staff they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
“The Lord is my light & my salvation, whom shall I fear?” Psalm 27:1
“I sought the LORD, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

“All she can do is to gasp with wonder, awe and thanksgiving and to long with all her heart to go higher and to see and to understand more…how little she had imagined, when first she set out on that strange journey, what lay ahead of her & the things that she would be called to pass through.  So for a long time she sat silent — remembering, wondering, & thankful.” (pg 226&229)