“I did my very best to put into practice all I had believed on paper.” – Katie Davis
What has God been calling me to put into practice?
Its natural for me to write about what I know I need to do…but putting the pen down, walking away, and living those words is hard. Forgiveness, kindness, vulnerability, brokenness, compassion, sacrifice, self denial, and patience are all things He’s calling me to walk in—they are easy to write about and hard to walk out.
I’ve learned a lot and have much to learn. 2017 has taught me a lot about myself; how I deal under pressure and react. Some days have been ugly, scary, and messy…where I don’t want to trust again, where I know I’m not walking in God’s will, and am not living in Jesus’ victory or in the strength of His Spirit.
It’s easy to become secluded, bitter, or resentful in times of change and transition. Whether the change is good or bad, our natural tendency is to compare it with the past and build walls because “it’ll never be the same” or “they’ll never know or love me like ____.” It’s easy to reflect so much on the past that it paralyzes you from moving forward.
I don’t want to be paralyzed. I want to walk into each new day with open hands, grateful for the past and the lessons it taught me but looking forward to where God is leading. Even the things in my past that I wouldn’t have wished for carry so much purpose. I long to walk in wisdom; holding onto lessons the past has taught me and letting go of what is not healthy or in His plan for me.
It’s easy to be swayed by my emotions or allow myself to be dictated by other’s actions. I have a choice in how I move forward and don’t want to be a victim of the past; God has called me to more than that. And He has called you to that too.
I pray that no matter what heart break or devastation is in your past or present that you would know, with full assurance and confidence, that your past does not define you and you do not need to have it all together.
When undergoing a major change it’s easy to form to habits and begin new routines simply out of survival and reaction to what has happened. But instead of survival and reaction I want this season of unexpected changes to be defined by intention, gratitude, and joy. That will only come when my eyes are fixed on Jesus. He is my goal and I am in desperate need of His grace because I fall short daily and need His Spirit in me to walk hopeful and expectant into the future. There are days in the midst of change that it pains my heart to reflect on seasons of life that are no more, but God is showing me to simply be grateful and expectant. I’m learning to rest in hope and live in peace today knowing that each new season has been predestined, designed by my loving Father, and I desire to walk in His goodness here.