timelines

**I’ve had this post saved as a draft for a bit and on Monday I listened to a podcast by Michelle Reed that had sooo much confirmation in it about this same topic and it was soo encouraging to me. CLICK HERE to listen to it on apple podcasts!**

Do you tend to compare the events and milestones in your life with those around you?? I know I do and I catch myself doing it a lot… comparison is such a dangerous trap that’s even easier to fall into with social media.

Comparison causes us to put our eyes on what someone else has and take our eyes off of what God has placed before us.

It’s easy to feel left out or forgotten when thoughts like “all my friends are ____” or “I wish I was ____” start to invade your mind… But, what if, instead of comparing ourselves to others, we learned to celebrate the differences in our stories?! Instead of wishing your life looked like someone else’s, what if we embraced the creativity and intention of our God who does not rewrite or duplicate stories!

I’ve learned to look at the differences in my story as a blessing… If there’s one thing I wish you could know with all your heart after reading this it would be that God did not make a mistake with you or your story; your life was written and purposed by Him before the foundation of the world! (Ephesians 1:4) Nothing is by coincidence or accident, you are not forgotten or being left out. If you feel like God is withholding something good from you, you can trust Him when He says that He gives good and perfect gifts. If it was good for you, you would have it by now. He has something else for you right now as you seek Him and wait on Him.

He has something that was created specifically for you! Just because your story is different doesn’t make it less valuable or better than others; instead, it makes it perfectly created and authored for you by your Heavenly Father. What’s for them is not for you…don’t let comparison rob you of your story! Don’t let it rob you of what’s right in front of you; cause you are there for a reason. If all our timelines and stories were the same, how boring and predictable would that be? When our lives aren’t matching up with our expectations we tend to complain, grumble, and become discontent where God has us. But, when we do that, we’re complaining about the very things that God has preordained for us. When you’re able to embrace the differences in your story, it frees you to be able to celebrate with those who seem to be getting what you wanted. Your satisfaction shouldn’t come from things “going the way you hoped” — but your fulfillment should come from being satisfied in Christ no matter how your age and milestones are lining up.

*story time* So, a few years ago, a lady I barely knew asked me if I was in a relationship; when I said “no” she asked my age (I was 24 at the time) and then proceeded to tell me “well, be careful…cause the older you get the harder it becomes to get married because you become more independent and it’s harder to create a life with someone when u let ‘too much time’ pass.” I remember feeling so disheartened over her remark and I think I responded with something like, “well, I know God is in control of my future so I’m not worried…” But her words really pierced my heart and I replayed them in my mind, thinking *in my sassy inner dialogue* “well lady, I don’t really have control over what age I get married!! Trust me, it’s not easy watching friends younger than me get engaged and married…but I can’t do anything to change that!!!” hahaha I’ve always been thankful for the independence and freedom I have but her remarks made it seem like less of a blessing and more of a curse that was going to doom me for the rest of my days.

The craziest thing about all that is the fact I still remember that interaction… for some reason that conversation has taken up space in my memory for far too long. It’s reminded me that the words you speak to others hold great weight, be careful of the words you share with others. What she said made me feel like the older I got the smaller my chances are of becoming a wife and having a family of my own one day. But what a lie of the enemy!! He wants us in a place of hopelessness and despair; where we believe his lies and dwell on people’s careless remarks instead of dwelling on God’s faithfulness. Pay attention to the thoughts that appear when you feel discouraged or lonely — whose words are they? God’s? Others? Your own? Not everything deserves to be replayed in your memory. Be careful of the thoughts you allow to grow and take root—because, before you know it, they become your beliefs…no matter how untrue they are and you’ll find yourself exchanging the peace and joy you have in Jesus for unbelief and doubt.

Life’s too short to miss out on what God has for you. Don’t believe the lie that your chances are “getting smaller” as you grow older. Instead, look at the gift life truly is, your life isn’t waiting to begin until ______ happens. It’s happening right now, where you are. Our God loves working beautiful miracles and writing stories like no other, so: enjoy the story He is writing for you. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, look at all the opportunities He’s given you and all the things you are able to do in this season of life that you wouldn’t be able to experience otherwise!

As time passes, may you grow in faith and expectancy, cause we serve a God who doesn’t write boring stories!

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart…” – Jeremiah 1:5a

honesty & healing


It’s been a bit since I’ve written on here — it’s mostly because I’ve just been processing, trying to figure out what to say… and what not to. But what keeps coming to my mind is that I don’t have to wait until I have it all together to sit down and write. It’s ok to sit—broken, unsure—and write what I’m learning in the middle.

I like to have things “put together” — I’d prefer to share once I have the testimony from the “other side” with the happy ending, healed heart, and a bow to tie on top. I like having the lesson learned, but it’s hard to share when the lesson comes with pain or when I feel like the happy ending may never come? *okay, I’m being slightly dramatic……but I have felt that*

I’m learning to embrace sharing when I don’t have the pretty conclusion because life is kinda one big in-between: a wrestling between answered prayers and prayers not-yet answered. Holding joy in one hand and pain in the other. Balancing hurt and healing. Keeping a soft heart amidst hard circumstances. It’s living on earth, knowing heaven is my destination.

I know we’ve all been there — when pain makes it hard to believe that brighter days are coming and when it hurts to hope and feels more like heartbreak. Loss makes even sunny days feel dark.

But, if I’m learning anything, it’s that we’re not as alone as we feel or may think. While specific circumstances and details may be different, many can sympathize with the feelings and emotions of a broken heart. It’s so important to be honest with where you’re at, or else you cannot move forward. You can’t see the future if you keep your eyes closed in denial.

You can’t edit out the pain that comes with life. You can’t make it more comfortable, bearable or tolerable. You can’t choose when pain happens…or where, how, or with who. It has a tendency of blindsiding you. So much of it is out of your control and out of your hands.

But here’s the thing: we all want the lessons pain teaches, without experiencing it. Pain is a great teacher: it forces us to be honest, real, and vulnerable. If you allow it, pain causes you to grow and it strengthens you. Pain causes people to pause, give their attention, and listen; because it’s something we all have in common.

When I am broken and hurting I have felt Jesus nearest. He meant it when He told us that HE IS NEAR TO THE BROKEN HEARTED. Psalm 34:18 —

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted 
& saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

When we bring our hearts to Jesus — raw, broken, crushed, hurting, and humbled — He does something only His gentle hands can do: HE pieces us together.

“Blessed are those who mourn
for you shall be comforted”
– Matthew 5:4

We all know Jesus is a comforter. We want to experience His comfort, but how many of us want to mourn? I know it’s something that I wouldn’t choose voluntarily, but mourning is a qualification for experiencing His comfort. *ouch* Too often I walk around wanting to push the pain aside; keeping my eyes ahead, moving forward, not acknowledging what could make me cry at any minute… I don’t want to mourn. I don’t want to talk about my disappointments, how I’ve been a disappointment to myself and to others. I don’t want to share the cries of my heart that only Jesus hears. I don’t want to go there… because I’m afraid of staying there. But, just like Jesus says, when we mourn: He comforts. It’s promised so I don’t have to be afraid!! There is never a moment I will mourn that I won’t ALSO experience His comfort. I don’t ever have to fear being left alone — because He comes and sits next to me and tells me that He’s gonna carry me thru to the other side and promises to comfort me. For as long as I have to mourn, that’s how long He’ll comfort.

This verses tells us “blessed are those who mourn,” but honestly, I consider myself anything but blessed when I’m mourning… in a day of social media highlights, mourning is not often shared because it makes people uncomfortable; it isn’t pretty or “aesthetic.” But I believe the blessing comes because those who are mourning experience Jesus’ nearness in a way they never would have without the tears. And then you have the blessing of being able to comfort others who are mourning. How good is our heavenly Father that He comforts and blesses us when we feel undesirable, unseen, and unlovable?! And then He teaches us how to do the same.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 1:3-5

It took me a long time to realize that hurt is frequently unavoidable. I thought I was supposed to avoid hurt with everything in me and, if I was hurt, it was the result of something I did wrong. Because hurt means that you didn’t try hard enough, right? Which, don’t get me wrong, I have been hurt by my own sin and foolish decisions, but what about when you feel like you did all you could and things were going smoothly—until it wasn’t. Until you were blindsided and hurt. That’s the hardest lesson pain teaches—sometimes it’s a chapter in your story and there’s nothing you can do to edit or alter the ending. You can’t revise heartbreak, but it’s also not the end of the story.

Instead of looking at it as an end, you could also view it as a new beginning; an opportunity to heal and grow. Hard things have a way of exposing the places in our hearts that have been neglected and need to be mended. There have been situations where I’ve responded in ways I didn’t expect because my heart was harboring unresolved hurt or trauma I hadn’t healed from and surrendered to Jesus.

You cannot change what happened, but there is something you can do about how it impacts and shapes your future. You have a say in how you heal. You can allow Jesus to put the pieces of your heart back together.

So… here’s to healing and being honest. Here’s to walking thru the pain, uncertainty, and sharing unprocessed, incomplete thoughts while you’re feeling them, instead of waiting till you’re on the other side—because we’re all learning on this journey and none of us has it figured out!

He is able


when fear or worry tempt me to doubt the faithfulness of my God I want these simple words to be the anthem of my heart:

“Jesus; You are able.”

I want those four words to be the song of my soul,
the steady echo of praise resounding in my mind,
whatever the future may, or may not, bring —

I want to be found:
trusting Him
& resting in Him
because He indeed is able.
If He does not,
it is not because He is unable,
but it is simply because
He is working something
far greater than I can imagine.
His thoughts are not mine,
neither are His ways.

Too often, when I am faced with a situation that is scary or unknown, I don’t immediately recall the faithfulness and power of my Savior. I’m prone to look at the storm and take my eyes off of Jesus. I forget that HE IS ABLE. NOTHING is too hard for Him and there is no situation that He cannot redeem or restore. Hope is never lost and nothing is ever too far gone.

There’s a verse in a song called “Hymn of the Ages” by Maverick City that has been on repeat in my head lately:

"blessed assurance
oh, what a grace
I'm prone to wander
But You're prone to chase
This is my story
It's the song that I'll raise
I'll sing of Your goodness
All of my days"

“I’m prone to wander, but You’re prone to chase…” Isn’t that so true?! Time and time again God has proven that He is my Provider, Protector, Comforter, and Helper; so why, when a trial comes, do I question what He is doing and doubt His sovereignty? I question if He is able or if He will…….. and I think that’s one of the hardest things to reconcile on this side of eternity — asking God: “I know You can, so why aren’t You?”

When we’re honest, I believe we’ve all asked a question like that. I want to trust Him, “Lord I believe, help my unbelief.” But I still ask that sometimes. It is hard to surrender your own will, desires, and expectations — especially when you’re asking for a good thing or for something that you know is aligned with God’s heart. And yet, when we follow Christ, we are called to trust His sovereignty: which looks like praying in faith and letting go of your expectations. We pray in faith: believing He can, but also surrendering our expectations if He doesn’t or if He works in a different way.

Last week, during Bible Study at my church, we were talking about expectations: how, when God doesn’t meet our expectations we should abandon our expectations, not God.

When you’re believing that a situation will turn out one way and it ends differently than you hoped or prayed; or when an answer isn’t coming after months or years and you pray God would move quicker…when you question if He’s even hearing you anymore. In those moments I’m quick to question God and feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and disillusioned. I’m quick to wander, grow impatient, and question His timing. But, looking back at times when I wish a circumstance would’ve ended differently, it has taught me to rely and depend fully on Jesus, not only on what He can do for me.

I’ve heard people making bargains with God, praying things like: “God, if You do ________ I’ll do ______.” Many times people go to God simply for what He can do.

Am I trusting Him for an OUTCOME or am I trusting HIM?

Trials and difficulties can be opportunities to trust God in a greater way. He is the God who fed the multitude — but ever wonder why Jesus didn’t feed hungry multitudes everyday? I think it’s because Jesus didn’t want people following Him for the temporary provision or satisfaction He could give; He wanted people to follow Him because He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Not for the temporary bread He could give, but because He is the Bread of Life. If God answered our every prayer the way we wanted Him to answer, the moment we didn’t get our way we would abandon Him; because we would be following Him selfishly. When Jesus called His disciples to follow Him, He called them not for what He could give them, but for who He is.

Sometimes I think He allows us to be disappointed so we’ll take our eyes off an outcome and fix our eyes on Him.

When He calls us to wait, it is not because He is incapable of working in that moment; it’s because He wants us to trust Him more and not rely on our own strength or power to change a situation.

He is able to change any situation – and if He hasn’t yet maybe it’s because what He’s working in the waiting is of more value and of greater (eternal!) importance. Do not get so focused on what He isn’t doing that you lose sight of what He IS doing today.

Don’t be discouraged when He asks you to wait or His answer isn’t what you expect — worship Him because He is able. NOTHING is impossible for Him. Pray: believing and trusting Him. Surrender: knowing that He holds the outcome in His hands and will give you the strength and grace to receive His will, even when it’s not what you expected.

He is able to replace your fear with faith and your anxiety with peace. He is able to renew your mind and heal your heart.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
– Isaiah 55:8-9

the journey of faith

Have you ever viewed your life in terms of “milestones” or “destinations“??

I used to think about my life like a timeline with markers indicating when I wanted certain events to happen. Have you ever thought the same?? As my life unfolded I quickly found out that things don’t turn out quite as I’d envisioned and I was left thinking “what now?”

About two years ago I was at a crossroads in my life, asking the Lord for wisdom and direction on which way to go. My natural instinct, when placed in a circumstance that involves risk, is to pick the safer, more comfortable option. The weight of walking into something that could end badly (or even good!) is sometimes too great a risk and I’d rather stay on comfortable & familiar ground.

But, when the Lord asks you to step out in faith, His call keeps tugging at your heart and the most important thing you can decide to do is obey, trust, and follow His voice.

So, regarding this particular crossroads, He gave me direction and peace to move forward, but didn’t tell me what the outcome would be. He just told me to take the first step and He would reveal the next step in His timing. So often, I want to know the next 20+ steps and what the destination will be. I want to be able to weigh the risk-to-benefit ratio and determine if it’s worth it.

But that’s not how faith works. . .

Faith is trusting God to lead, guide, and direct your steps – even when you can’t see where it’ll lead. Faith is resting in Jesus because HE knows the outcome, so I don’t have to.

What He has shown me, time and time again, is that He is more concerned with the PROCESS than the destination. When we follow the Lord and things don’t happen as we expected we can feel betrayed, lost, and confused. But it is often in those very situations of loss, sorrow, and pain that our faith grows the most and we learn to depend on Jesus more.

The act of trusting Jesus and walking by faith IS the goal. He desires everything we walk THRU to increase our faith and deepen our walk with Him. So, when my life starts to take on a different trajectory than I had envisioned, I can be expectant and hopeful — because He is in control of the story, not me. For a long-time I simply wanted to check things off the ” life bucket-list” that I had created in my mind, the list with: ☐ graduate college ☐ get my dream job ☐ get married ☐ travel ☐ buy a house ☐ have kids, etc. listed. In my mind I had created that list because I saw that people typically measure “success” by those achievements. So, when I didn’t accomplish those things when I had expected to, I was left feeling like I had failed and was missing out.

But I’ve come to learn that if God were to give us a “bucket-list,” I think it would simply read:

☐ walk by faith

So, no matter the job I have, whether or not I have a college degree, am married, have children, or travel — I can ask myself: “am I walking by faith and trusting God where I am today?” And, if walking by faith does lead to the things I had desired, then Jesus will also use those to mature and deepen my faith! Either way He’s is growing faith in me. My hope is no longer in an outcome and my faith is no longer reliant on getting what I want.

In the same way, when things come into our lives that we never would’ve asked for — heartbreak, unexpected tragedy, loss, betrayal, trials — we have the assurance that God is working amidst the pain to draw us closer to Himself, even if we can’t see it at first, or on this side of eternity; He does not waste our pain.

No matter where in life you find yourself; whether it’s where you wanted to be, or somewhere you never imagined you would be, may we desire God’s will (not our own!) for our lives. When we keep our eyes on Him and follow His leading, even if the situation ends differently than you would’ve hoped, He is glorified.

When the timeline of your life doesn’t follow what you had in mind, you can trust that God is working behind the scenes, writing a story so much better than you could’ve created yourself. And it’ll be so much better than the timeline you had for yourself.

I know it is h-a-r-d to let go of expectations and release certain desires to the Lord but we can rest knowing that He’s a much better Author than we’ll ever be.

It leaves me thinking: in the end, if I check everything off my “bucket-list” but have no faith to show for it, what will I have really accomplished of true value??

“And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?”
-Matthew 16:26 (NLT)