I’ve always loved the story of Jesus healing the woman who had the issue of blood. She went to Jesus in faith, touched the hem of His garment, and He heals her.
In April 2019 I wrote about this story; how Jesus will never overlook you. As I read this story again recently, something new stood out to me . . . for so long I had focused on the healing in this story and the beautiful words spoken by Jesus:
“Daughter, be of good cheer;
your faith has made you well.
Go in peace.”
but the other day, as I pondered what it must’ve been like to walk in this woman’s shoes — living with this issue for 12 years — I cannot imagine how hopeless, empty, and desperate she must’ve felt. Verse 34 of Luke 12 says that she “had spent all her livelihood on physicians and could not be healed by any . . .”
While there was physical pain & discomfort she walked through, it also had a financial impact on her life: she had tried everything and came up empty every time.
Her situation must’ve also had an overwhelming impact on her life emotionally as well. Pain often leaves us feeling alone, misunderstood, frustrated and guarded. As pain lingers and we long for healing, it can cause us to question or doubt God’s purpose.
This woman had been discarded over and over by doctors whom she had trusted. She was broke and had no answers.
The idea of being in a multitude of people must’ve terrified her.
The thought of touching Jesus was probably so scary, that she resolved to simply touch His robe.
I know what it feels like to wait, to hope, and to want to give up hoping.
But for 12 years?! I have not waited for anything that long.
I see myself in this woman though and I wonder how many emotions we share in common, even though our stories are very different . . . I’ve walked through things that have caused me to change my view of people. I am guilty of projecting my past experiences onto people who do not deserve it. I’ve pushed people away because I’ve been too afraid. I’ve allowed uncertainty to paralyze me. I’ve allowed pain to make me cynical and selfish.
But, when I hold onto the past, instead of reaching out in faith, I am hindering what God wants to heal in my heart, accomplish my life, and how He wants to help others.
You cannot reach your hand out in faith while holding onto the past.
You must choose one or the other.
The realist in me says: “But you have to learn from the past! Don’t make the same mistakes! Keep yourself guarded, it’s best.” Moving forward, opening up, & trusting God while learning from the past is a hard line to walk . . . I’m still trying to navigate how to discern the difference there.
But, if this story teaches me anything, it’s that — no matter how long you’ve waited for healing or no matter how long you’ve been hurting, He has not forgotten you and it’s never too late to reach out to Him.
While the pain of the past may not change, Jesus can heal your heart & write a beautiful story out of what you deemed irredeemable.
While I wish I could say when your season of waiting will end or when the pain will be healed, I cannot. But I do know that Jesus promises that there is a day of healing coming, if not this side of eternity, we know that there is a day when we will be in Jesus’ presence and He will wipe away every tear. Maybe one day it will make sense and we will see how He was working in us and forming His glory in us thru the waiting. But in the meantime I remind myself that He never wastes our pain and everything He does is right on time, even when we feel like the timeline was different than what we would’ve chosen.
I pray He gives us the grace to walk through all that today brings — the joy, the pain, and the waiting — that we would seek Him, pushing through any obstacles, and outstretching our arms to Him in faith.