Haรฏti โ™ฅ

It’s been on my heart to try and write about my 3 weeks in Haiti but have been at a loss for words to fit it all into a blog post. Here are some of the highlights of my time & the beautiful people I got to serve and build relationships with during my stay.ย 

This is Yolle! In June of 2017 Yolle moved to Haiti to serve as a missionary after hearing the Lord’s call on her life. Every week Yolle serves the women and children in the communities of Jacmel and Beaudouin thru prayer, counseling, Bible study, and one-on-one discipleship. It was such a joy to stay with her for the 3 weeks I was there and witness the beautiful work the Lord is doing in and thru her.

This is Sephora, one of the girls Yolle is discipling and pouring Jesus’ love into. She is a beautiful young girl inside and out & I had the chance to begin teaching her guitar while I was there. Yolle said that Sephora’s goal at the beginning of the year was to learn guitar and was so excited for the chance to learn! She is such a fast learner and we really bonded. I saw how quickly these young girls have been forced to grow up because of their circumstances. But in contrast, I also saw how they are hungry for God’s Word and how grateful they are to have Yolle as a godly example and someone to turn to for encouragement and guidance.ย 

In the months leading up to my trip, my community and church blessed the people in Haiti by providing 25 backpacks filled with necessary school supplies, jewelry-making & sewing supplies, and enough supplies to make 30 care bags for the women we would be serving. To see the expressions of gratitude on the faces of the children, their parents, and the women was priceless.ย 

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This is Echo+! Echo+ is a small-business that is a ministry of the church in Beaudouin; itย is the first store in the community to serve cold refreshments ย and opened the first week I was there. They currently have 4 employees who eachย underwent a training course that taught them the importance of providing excellent service and how their job can be an opportunity to share the love of Christ with everyone they see. ย It is amazing to see the dignity they now have being able to earn an income and provide for themselves and their families.ย 

This is Gladys (middle), Kevinson (L), and Hilda (R)! Gladys’ husband, Lukeson, and her are active in their church, love the Lord and are honoring Him in the way they are raising their family. The love of Jesus is evident the moment you step foot in their home. It is truly beautiful to see. Lukeson is also pictured below helping lead worship at the orphanage! Their witness stands out and shines bright because it is not the norm.

These are photos from the orphanage in Beaudouin that Yolle visits every Friday and Saturday. There are 30+ children who live here; each ranging in age from 2 to 17. During our time we would sing worship songs and have a time of Bible lesson and activities. We celebrated 5 of them who had recently had a birthday and took a group of them to the beach. I was able to talk to the Pastor who established the orphanage and his wife who is the Director; they said that their greatest prayer request is for food for the children each day. It is heart wrenching and the need feels so overwhelming and desperate. The Lord continuously reminded me of verses like Psalm 10:14 that says: “But You, God, see the trouble of the afflicted;ย You consider their grief and take it in hand.ย The victims commit themselves to You; You are the helper of the fatherless.” I know God sees and His heart is for them; my prayer is that each of them grow to know Him personally and depend on Him for their daily needs. I know that our God is a God who answers prayer and His ear is attentive to their cries.

One of the last events I got to be a part of was a woman’s night hosted at Yolle’s home. There was a meal prepared for the ladies when they arrived and we had a time of worship, prayer, and encouragement. Earlier that day Yolle and I had written out Bible verses on index cards to pass out to each of the ladies that would be coming. After our time of prayer we asked them to read their verse out loud & share if it spoke to themย specifically. It was beautiful to hear a number of women share how the Lord had spoken to them thru His word and comforted them in what they were facing. Afterward we washed their feet, painted their nails, and gifted them with a bag filled with hygiene and beauty products. It was so wonderful to see how blessed and grateful they were at the end of the night. Despite the difficulties they are facing internally and externally, there was such tangible joy and it was so priceless to see them enjoy a night of rest and encouragement.

Please keep the believers in Haiti in your prayers: the church and their leadership that they would be strengthened in their faith and encouraged as they continue to spread the good news of Jesus’ love and salvation.

ย 

He’s Holding You

"I am always with You,

You hold me by my right hand,

You guide me with Your counsel"ย 

I read that verse in Psalm 73:23-24 and the imagery struck me. ย Have you ever seen a dad holding the hand of his young daughter as they walk or cross the street? ย Do you know that feeling of security and assurance? ย Many times the child doesn’t have to worry about where they are going, they must only stay by their parent’s side and keep their hand in the strong, secure grip of their parent’s…


…and I thought of my heavenly Father and the abandoning sense of trust and confidence I can have; knowing that He is guiding and leading.

When I read this verse I felt God speak to my heart: “I’m holding you. Even when you’re unsure, I’m guiding you. Keep your hand in mine.”

How foolish of me to fear or worry when God Almighty: the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Maker of heaven and earth, and Savior of my soul is holding my hand.

All of a sudden whatever is causing anxiety disappears in light of the knowledge that He is holding me.

God desires to hold your hand and guide you. As a matter of fact, He promises to! ย But we must let Him. We must keep our hand in His and walk by faith; even when we are unsure and cannot see the final destination.

How beautiful is that!!? Meditate on that & I pray it brings comfort and joy to your heart ย โ™ฅ

every hour I need Thee โ™ฅ

โ€œIf we fail to refocus, confess, and seek God
we will begin to try and fit Him into our own plan and selfish purpose.
Beware of a Christianity that is all about fulfilling your own plan for your life.
My life is not about me โ€” itโ€™s about glorifying Him.โ€


That quote is from the sermon I heard this past weekend and it really resonated with me because Jesus has been impressing that same message on my heart over and over. This past year I’ve beenย faced with my own tendency to choose self-protection & comfort over faith & trust. Which boils down toย pride.

Pride ย : ย an empty assurance which trusts in its own power & resources

Pride wants me to focus only on myself. ย It is the voice of pride that tells me โ€œBut, what about you?โ€ ย When I am faced with something I know the Lord desires me to surrender, pride whispers: โ€œYouโ€™ve realized it, isn’t that is enough?ย ย You donโ€™t really need to change or surrender.ย  Just being aware of it is enough.โ€ Pride will always talk me out of self sacrifice and humility.

“Pride will lie and only tell you the story of fear, pain and loss โ€” it will tell you toย onlyย think of yourself and avoid the sufferingโ€ฆbut pride fails to tell you about the comfort, joy and peace God is longing to meet you with when you leave yourself and walk to Him in the middle of the storm.” ย  – ย Maria Furlough

Pride is the root cause of my fear, doubt, and disobedience. Pride causes me to worry: about myself and my future security.ย 

โ€œIt was through pride that the devil became the devil:
pride leads to every other viceโ€”
it is the complete anti-God state of mind.โ€ย 
โ€• C.S. Lewis

Pride tries to stay under the radar . . .ย unsuspecting, unseen & unrealized.ย  Why? Simply so it can continue to grow; permeating every decision and action in my life.

Pride keeps you thinking youโ€™re in control . . . if you feel like you cannot determine the outcome of a situation you immediately want to run the opposite direction & stay in your comfort zone.

Pride is the biggest enemy to vulnerability . . .ย When your heart longs to be open & honest, pride says: โ€œWhat difference will it make?ย Youโ€™ll simply become more invested and theyโ€™ll be able to hurt you more. You donโ€™t need that. Stay shallow. Stay guarded. Protect yourself.โ€

Pride distorts everything and anything the Lord is calling you to . . .ย I frequently say that I want all God has for me but I am guilty of wanting it on my own terms. I want a story without pain, suffering, loss or disappointment. Why? Because I wouldย choose a road that is paved, clear-cut & safe โ€” but that road requires no faith, no trust, no humility, and no reliance on God.

Pride will always keep me from God . . .ย God hates, abhors, and detests pride (Prov. 16:5).

โ€œAs long as you are proud you cannot know God.
A proud person is always looking down on things and people:
and, of course, as long as you are looking down
you cannot see something that is above you.โ€
โ€• C.S. Lewis

So what is the cure? ย Nearness to Jesus. It is impossible to leave His presence proud. Humility the result of resting, being, and simply abiding in His presence.

I used to resist humility and vulnerability because I believed the lie (and still fight it at times) that they are signs of weakness. If I exposed or shared my weaknesses they would be used against me so I fought to maintain a sense of capability & control. But you know what I’ve learned? I’ve learned that Jesus will never, ever use my weakness against me. He will never take advantage of me or betray my trust. When we step away from the pride, put down the mask, andย confess our desperate needย Jesus’ immediate reaction is to come close because:ย 

He is near to those who haveย a broken and humbled heart. (Psalm 34:18)

Under the surface we’re all hungry for humility. We’re sick of the pride that causes our hearts to harden and makes us keep people at arms length. You are not alone. There is no condemnation in Christ, He reveals sin so He can be near and so we can find forgiveness and restoration in Him ย  ย โ™ฅ ย  ย  You are free to stand with arms high and hands empty singing: “Lord, I need You. Every hour I need You.”

โ€œBlessed are the poor in spirit:
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.โ€
Matthew 5:3

He gives more grace.ย Therefore He says:
‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’
Therefore submit to God.
Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
James 4:6-7

A place that changed my โ™ฅ๏ธ … part 2

(to read part 1 click: hereย ๐Ÿ˜Š)

When I was 21 I got the opportunity to go back to Haiti in August of 2016.ย  I had been teaching preschool full time for 3 years and I had a lot of the same questions in my heart that I had in 2013: I didnโ€™t know what the future held and I was praying for wisdom and guidance.

I felt that I was at another cross-roads but I didnโ€™t want to be led by my emotions and I wasn’t sure if this trip would be as impactful as the last. ย During that second trip I kept thinking over-and-over again: โ€œLord, what is this? Is this something that is not going to leave me? This longing and love for this community?ย  Will I ever be the same or be able to move on?โ€

Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love Him? - James 2:5

I walked away that week knowing in my soul that I would be back butย I didnโ€™t know how or when. ย When I got home I talked to my parents and they encouraged me to embrace patience because if it was the Lordโ€™s will it would happen in His time.ย  At the time I selfishly did not want to hear that but I knew it was necessary. Looking back I see Godโ€™s wisdom and purpose being worked out in it all. ย I needed to learn (and still am learning!) patience, surrender, and trust. ย I’ve learned that the work He has to do in our hearts is of far greater importance than anything we can do outwardly. A life surrendered to Him starts in the heart and continues in the heart.

No one who hopes in You
ย ย ย ย will ever be put to shame,

Show me Your ways, Lord,
ย ย ย ย teach me Your paths.
Guide me in Your truth and teach me,
ย ย ย ย for You are God my Savior,
ย ย ย ย and my hope is in You all day long.

– Psalm 25:3-5

My preschool class graduated in June of 2017 and the Lord provided me with a new, amazing job opportunity; thru a lot of change over the past 2 years I surrendered my dream to go back to Haiti because it seemed too far gone. I prayed that He would make it clear if it was in His will but I also doubted; thinking: “thereโ€™s no way Iโ€™ll be able to go back,” and “I should stop hoping in something that wasnโ€™t meant to be.” ย But God has been so gracious to give clear guidance and answer specific prayer requests that my parents and I have been committing to Him over the last 2 years.ย On Tuesday I’ll be leaving to Haiti again for 3 weeks and I am so grateful and humbled. ย I am full of expectation and I cannot wait to see what Jesus is going to do thru this trip. ย ย โ™ฅ๏ธ

Since my first trip Jesus has been teaching me to get comfortable with stepping outside of my comfort zone.

I want to get comfortable with the discomfortย of stepping into something bigger than myself, something that only God knows the outcome of. ย Something that scares me but causes my faith to grow. ย Something that requires risk and humility in saying โ€œI donโ€™t know where thisโ€™ll lead to but Iโ€™m saying yes and walking in faith one step at a time.”

Life is found in pouring out, when all I have to worry about is myself and my comfort, life is miserable. ย But He is constantly reminding me never to forget that He isย the Source.ย ย He is the One who our fullness comes from.ย  He is the Living Water, the Bread of Life, everything we need to face each day:ย He is strength and grace for whatever lies ahead.

The Christian life is not one of perfection or even striving towards perfection (and we do a great disservice to others when we act like it is) โ€” itโ€™s one of honesty, ย repentance and running towards Jesus.ย  Every day I am faced with my old self: my pride and my selfishness.ย And every day Jesus reminds me that I am a new creation and that my old self is dead, buried, and I am alive in Him.ย  That is the walk of the Christian:ย ย Freedom in Him, no longer bound by sin and self. Free to love Jesus and love others how He has loved us.

 

โ€œThe prayer is not asking that
Iโ€™ll be propelled into something bigger for this world.
The prayer is โ€˜reduceโ€™
โ€” Make me smaller.
Help me get out of my own way.โ€ – Hannah Brencher