Category: Things I’m learning

every hour I need Thee ♥

“If we fail to refocus, confess, and seek God
we will begin to try and fit Him into our own plan and selfish purpose.
Beware of a Christianity that is all about fulfilling your own plan for your life.
My life is not about me — it’s about glorifying Him.”

That quote is from the sermon I heard this past weekend and it really resonated with me because Jesus has been impressing that same message on my heart over and over. This past year I’ve been faced with my own tendency to choose self-protection & comfort over faith & trust. Which boils down to pride.

Pride  :  an empty assurance which trusts in its own power & resources

Pride wants me to focus only on myself.  It is the voice of pride that tells me “But, what about you?”  When I am faced with something I know the Lord desires me to surrender, pride whispers: “You’ve realized it, isn’t that is enough?  You don’t really need to change or surrender.  Just being aware of it is enough.” Pride will always talk me out of self sacrifice and humility.

“Pride will lie and only tell you the story of fear, pain and loss — it will tell you to only think of yourself and avoid the suffering…but pride fails to tell you about the comfort, joy and peace God is longing to meet you with when you leave yourself and walk to Him in the middle of the storm.”   –  Maria Furlough

Pride is the root cause of my fear, doubt, and disobedience. Pride causes me to worry: about myself and my future security. 

“It was through pride that the devil became the devil:
pride leads to every other vice—
it is the complete anti-God state of mind.” 
― C.S. Lewis

Pride tries to stay under the radar . . . unsuspecting, unseen & unrealized.  Why? Simply so it can continue to grow; permeating every decision and action in my life.

Pride keeps you thinking you’re in control . . . if you feel like you cannot determine the outcome of a situation you immediately want to run the opposite direction & stay in your comfort zone.

Pride is the biggest enemy to vulnerability . . . When your heart longs to be open & honest, pride says: “What difference will it make? You’ll simply become more invested and they’ll be able to hurt you more. You don’t need that. Stay shallow. Stay guarded. Protect yourself.”

Pride distorts everything and anything the Lord is calling you to . . . I frequently say that I want all God has for me but I am guilty of wanting it on my own terms. I want a story without pain, suffering, loss or disappointment. Why? Because I would choose a road that is paved, clear-cut & safe — but that road requires no faith, no trust, no humility, and no reliance on God.

Pride will always keep me from God . . . God hates, abhors, and detests pride (Prov. 16:5).

“As long as you are proud you cannot know God.
A proud person is always looking down on things and people:
and, of course, as long as you are looking down
you cannot see something that is above you.”
― C.S. Lewis

So what is the cure?  Nearness to Jesus. It is impossible to leave His presence proud. Humility the result of resting, being, and simply abiding in His presence.

I used to resist humility and vulnerability because I believed the lie (and still fight it at times) that they are signs of weakness. If I exposed or shared my weaknesses they would be used against me so I fought to maintain a sense of capability & control. But you know what I’ve learned? I’ve learned that Jesus will never, ever use my weakness against me. He will never take advantage of me or betray my trust. When we step away from the pride, put down the mask, and confess our desperate need Jesus’ immediate reaction is to come close because: 

He is near to those who have a broken and humbled heart. (Psalm 34:18)

Under the surface we’re all hungry for humility. We’re sick of the pride that causes our hearts to harden and makes us keep people at arms length. You are not alone. There is no condemnation in Christ, He reveals sin so He can be near and so we can find forgiveness and restoration in Him    ♥     You are free to stand with arms high and hands empty singing: “Lord, I need You. Every hour I need You.”

“Blessed are the poor in spirit:
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 5:3

He gives more grace. Therefore He says:
‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’
Therefore submit to God.
Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
James 4:6-7

A Better Choice.

May my meditation be pleasing to Him, as I rejoice in the Lord.  Psalm 104:34

I remember when Jesus was a checklist: a row of boxes I believed I had to check to avoid consequences and keep from “getting in trouble.”  I knew how to do things, but I was exhausted. I could hide it from others but I knew that I had no love or joy in my heart. I couldn’t escape the shallow emptiness & everything I did flowed from a dry, withering heart that was trying to disguise it’s thirst.

In all my fleshly might I was trying to do the right things so God would be pleased but I was missing His heart and I didn’t realize that He had so much better for me.  I was settling for guilt and religion while all along He stood there; offering me Himself: standing with arms open, hands and heart full of grace and forgiveness .  I thought I could earn my way to a close, fruitful relationship with Him and I failed to realize that He right there: standing right next to me the whole time. I think about how much that must’ve broken His heart. To see me thinking I could earn what He died to freely give.

Thru that season God showed me that my actions were a result of a poor understanding and misconception of who He truly is.  Like Paul said; the pursuit and call of our lives is “that I may know Him…” (Phil 3:10)  As we rest and rejoice in who He is everything else becomes an outpouring: a response and expression of our gratitude. No longer a box to check.

That season taught me so much.  It also serves as a reference so that when I find myself falling into old patterns, working out of my own strength or with insincere motives I am reminded that Jesus has so much better:

I was not made to work; I was made to abide.

I was not made to strive; I was created to rest.

I was not made to earn; I was designed to worship.

As we rest and rejoice in Jesus we find ourselves pushing onward (Phil 3:12) & running forward towards Him (1 Cor 9:24)—because He is our exceedingly great reward (Gen 15:1). 

Choose Him; the One who can never be taken from you.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” Colossians 3:16

“If not, He is still good.”

“If not, He is still good.”

Those are not words you utter once and go on the rest of your life believing with determined, unwavering resolve.  No, those are words that must rise as your soul’s song each and everyday—no matter what you are facing—even if it’s not what you expected. Through the years, that quote has been an anthem in my heart.  There have been seasons where it has been easier to accept, trust and rejoice in those words: knowing His goodness with full assurance.  And there have also been seasons where I have struggled to believe them: days (weeks…years…) when I doubt and wrestle to declare His goodness through the tears and hurt.

But through it all He is still good and His goodness is not determined by my circumstances; even if it doesn’t feel good     …      He is still good.

The enemy and my flesh lie: causing me to doubt God’s character. Maybe you can relate, in my head it sounds like this: “How could He be good if _____ happened?”  “How could He be faithful if I feel alone?”  “I know I’m supposed to wait…but it’s in my power to get it and I’d rather have it now.”  “How could He be good if I don’t have ______?”

“God is too good to be unkind and He is too wise to be mistaken. And when we cannot trace His hand, we must trust His heart.” — Charles Spurgeon

There have been times where I have looked at God’s commands and purpose and have believed them to be burdensome, boring, irrational, and only in place to keep me from “enjoying life”.  I know in my head that God’s plan is “good” but there have been times that I, honestly, have not desired it because I believed it wouldn’t be as fulfilling, abundant, or joy-filled as my own.  That is a lie and is the voice of my own pride and self-righteousness. Those belief’s have come from a misunderstanding and lack of knowledge of who God is and when I begin to have those thoughts I must remind myself of God’s word and ask Him to correct my view of Him so I can see Him more clearly and trust Him more deeply.  My Father, who created me, the world, and everything in it, knows how to give good & perfect gifts: in His time and in His way.  Don’t you think the One who created you and the gift would know when and how to give it? I know it is hard and will cost you follow God’s Words & walk the narrow way, but distrust of God’s plan is ultimately distrust of God Himself.  “If you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” Matthew 7:11

“Even if You don’t,
my hope is You alone.”

Here are some lessons God has taught me along the way about His goodness, purpose & trusting Him with the unknown:

  1. Taking your eyes off of others — your journey is not theirs. Your family, life circumstances, and future is unique and unlike any other — God designed it that way with a purpose; it is not an accident! So do not be discouraged when others seem to be getting what you desire.  Embrace the journey God has designed specifically for you and rejoice in it—rejoice that your Heavenly Father writes no two stories the same!
  2. Fix Your eyes on Jesus and set your mind on His heavenly purpose.   “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:7-9)  I know that it doesn’t seem like it in the moment: when you’re alone, faced with a devastating diagnosis, buried under piles of work and a busy schedule, trying to reconcile the loss of a loved one while learning how to live again…I am reminded of Job’s words: “the Lord has given and the Lord has taken away” there will be times in life when those words feel harder to speak than ever; but through God’s grace and strength it is possible to face whatever is attempting to crush you and worship Him in the midst of the storm. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, yet our inner self is being renewed day by day. For our light and temporary affliction is producing for us an eternal glory that far outweighs our troubles. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal”
  3. Cherish the season you are currently in. We tend to glamorize and daydream about every season in life except the one we are currently in.  We think “how much better it will be” and set unattainable expectations; but the truth is that there are difficult parts in every season and where you are right now is full of purpose: it is necessary and preparing you for what God has for you to walk through next.  Do not wish every season of life away — rather be grateful: assured that God is teaching you lessons right now that you couldn’t learn any other way. “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

 

I pray, no matter where you are in life, that you would be able to embrace God’s plan and purpose for you—it’s not easy but He is trustworthy and you can rest assured that He is who He says He is.  I pray you would be able to rejoice, celebrate and cherish Jesus and His words—that you would surrender your plans to Him.  He is good and faithful to do exceedingly more than you could ever hope, imagine, or dream for yourself.

 

Psalm 84:11 —
“The LORD gives grace and glory;
No good thing does He withhold
from those who walk uprightly.”

Deuteronomy  10:20-21 —
“Fear the Lord your God and serve Him
Hold fast to Him.
He is your praise.”

Deuteronomy 26:11  —
“REJOICE in all the good things
the Lord your God has given to you.”

2 words I thought I’d never embrace…

There are two words that don’t come natural or easy for me to live out.  Through God’s strength and grace I am constantly striving to grow in these two things that would be impossible for me to embrace without Him….What are they?

Discipline.
&
Patience.

Through the years my understanding of these has changed: when I was younger, like any other kid, I hated them… they meant I couldn’t get my way or have what I wanted.  As I grew up, by my parent’s guidance, I learned to accept them as needful but I struggled because people would say things like: “Why haven’t you done ____ yet?”  “Don’t you want _____?”  “When are you going to _____?”  It made me resent the fact that I was choosing to wait & the voice of rebellion in my heart would say: “Why don’t you just get what you want? Why wait?”

Through God’s grace I’ve learned that whatever I desire will not make me happy or give me freedom once I have it.  In contrast, by waiting for God’s perfect time, one day I will be able to fully enjoy what I am waiting on.  But I don’t have to wait until then to be satisfied or fulfilled.  There’s nothing more joyful than going to Christ for satisfaction and letting go of the fulfillment that I thought could be found in a person, experience, outcome, possession, or desire.  I have learned to say “I shall not want” because He is the One my heart was made for.

Today and I’m learning to cherish and embrace self-discipline and patience. The two go hand-in-hand: discipline requires patience & patience requires discipline.  They cannot be separated.  They are not easy, but I’ve been able to see the beautiful fruit in my heart, mind, and life when I choose to wait on God’s timing for what is best rather than pursing what I feel I need now.  I’m a work in progress; always learning. It is a life long-journey, not a destination.  But I can say that the lessons discipline and patience have taught me are priceless.

One of my favorite quotes on this subject is:

“Discipline is choosing between what you want now & what you want most.”

Self-discipline in my life looks like examining my time & thoughts and asking if I’m spending it in a way that is beneficial or destructive? Am I walking in a way that is wise, directing me towards my goals and the person God is calling me to be? A lack of self-discipline leads to self-destruction and hurting those around me.  Like the quote says, having self-disciple may mean having to say “No” to something, even if it’s good, so I can say “Yes” to what is best. Self-discipline leads me to choose what is best which ultimately leads to greater freedom.  I’m free to say “No” because my flesh no longer has power over me and through Christ’s victory I am free to say “Yes” to what He has prepared for me: a life of joy and peace, love and freedom in Himself.

Discipline and patience are painful to practice because they stretch & pull you out of your comfort zone but lead to growth and character. It’s a daily, intentional decision to choose what causes growth…You may be questioning if staying & growing in patience and discipline is worth it. I love what Hannah Brencher, an author and speaker who shares a lot on this subject, says: “We don’t just walk away and call it quits when stuff gets hard. Life is hard. Life will deal you some tough blows. The hard stuff produces character and I know I could always stand to have more character. So I stay.”

James 1:4 reads – Learn well how to wait so you will be strong, complete, and in need of nothing. If you do not have wisdom, ask God for it. He is always ready to give it to you and will never say you are wrong for asking.

My prayer is that we learn to wait well & enjoy the season we are each in with contentment and joy.  I pray God grant us the grace to stay in the hard, uncomfortable places that lead to growth.  I pray He give us the wisdom and grace to practice self-discipline and patience.  I pray we depend on Him for strength and follow His voice: calling us to wait and trust Him because He knows what is best.