Category: Things I’m learning

Have you ever been in a place where you feel like God is being unfair or withholding something good from you?

In the Genesis 2:16-17 God told Adam and Eve: “You shall eat of every tree in the garden but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat.”  Then, in chapter 3 the serpent lies to Eve saying: “Has God surely said that you shall not eat of every tree in the garden?”  The devil causes Eve to focus on what God had prohibited and ignore all God had given. The devil causes her to doubt her good and loving Father and to believe God was unfair and holding back something good from her.

Like Eve, how frequently does the enemy’s voice cause me to doubt God’s voice?

The doubt sounds like this: “Jesus told me that He is all I need but I feel like I am in need. I know Jesus loves me, but I don’t feel it. He’s told me He’s my Husband, but I feel lonely. He’s told me He’s my provider but I want (fill in the blank).”

Have you ever felt like that? I have. And if you haven’t I’m sure you’ve heard people say those things. The doubt has taught me that everyday I must choose: to listen and trust God’s word—which is unchanging and faithful, or listen to my feelings—which waver and are unreliable.

This is what God’s word says: the Lord is my Shepherd I shall NOT want (Ps. 23:1). Good and upright is the Lord…all the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth (Ps. 25:8-10). Every good and perfect gift is from above (James 1:17). Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness (Ps. 37:3). Cast your burden on the Lord and He shall sustain you (Ps. 55:22). No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11).

So I ask myself: am I trusting His voice?  Even when He has said “You shall not,” am I resting knowing that His purpose is greater and His plan is FAR better? Choose to dwell on His word and walk in truth today.

Rest and know that Jesus is who He says He is, He is the Good Shepherd. He is good.

 

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face;
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace.”

If you could write a letter for a younger you to read what would it say?

Here’s what I would say:

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I wish I could tell you that life is going to be everything you dreamed it would be…that you’ll never be tempted to give up hope and when you’re faith gets tested it’ll only grow stronger.  I wish I could tell you those you love will always be close and your optimism will stay intact even when cruelties try to steal it away.  That, although there will be hurt and sorrow, you’ll never doubt the goodness of your God and you’ll draw nearer to Him when you wear pain like a second skin.

But I can’t.

Because things will not turn out the way you thought and expected.  People will let you down, you will be disappointed and left with the broken pieces of a life you once knew.

What if I told you that you will experience and see the injustice in the world.  You will feel the ache and sting of saying “goodbye.”  Your heart will long to stay but you’ll have to leave and your world will be shattered like you didn’t know possible.

But despite all this…I can tell you life is still beautiful.  Don’t forget that.  But you must learn to see it.

You must learn to see the beauty in the ordinary and not take the sweet simplicity of life for granted.  You must learn to number those simplicities one by one and be thankful: for home cooked meals, for movie nights, for rainy days, for your dad’s wisdom and your mom’s smile, for your sister’s laugh and your brother’s kindness, for summer days, and hot tea, for long days and long drives, for your hometown, for vacations and spontaneous adventures, for music and singing, for games and potlucks, for Bible studies and discipleship circles, for prayer partners and lunch with friends, for loading the dishes and eating your favorite food, for waking up early, breathing in the crisp air, and taking long walks…you must learn to cherish them because you’re not promised that they’ll be there tomorrow.

I can tell you that one day you will even be able to say “Thank You” for the pain because it DOES bring a lovely contrast that you wouldn’t have known otherwise.  The hurt is not beautiful in itself, but it is a gift of sorts that you must ask Jesus for the eyes and humility to see. Because He has promised to be with you ALWAYS you can walk in faith—not in fear.  You do not have to fear what unexpected heartbreak or tragedy you will walk through. Because He’ll be with you.  And He’s all you need. One day you’ll see how it’s made you weaker and stronger at the same time, and they’re both needful. The unexpected has a way of stripping away every false hope and every unmerited expectation you’ve put on man. A way of peeling your gripped fingers—one by one—off of the control you once thought you held — only to learn it was an illusion all along.  And a way of exposing and tearing you down till you feel raw and vulnerable—but TRUST because in that place His presence will be even more tangible.

His comfort will be as real as the pain and His healing as apparent as the wound.

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As I write these words now a part of me knows I’m writing them for an older me to read too…when my heart is broken again and I’m tempted to give up because I don’t think I can take any more. I will be able to look back and remember how He has carried a younger me through. And just because it doesn’t work out how I ‘dreamed’ His thoughts and plans are higher and better than anything I could ever dream up. And I can be reminded:

that He will do it again.

 

“In time, I’ll let you in on everything I’m planning.
When it’s time, I’ll let you see everything you’re asking Me.
When it’s time, you will know why there are things I’m hiding from you.
But I’m gonna satisfy everything in the meantime.”

“In The Meantime” by Jess Ray