Thoughts – Page 12 – the lovely unexpected

A Break from the Pull

At the beginning of the New Year do you ever feel pulled a million ways? Like there are multiple directions you feel pressured to go yet not sure what "goals" you want to pursue?  And yet you feel discouraged because your past "resolutions" have failed to result in real change?

Can I encourage you to break away from the pull & be still so you can pursue God’s heart today? That is a daily pursuit: not one that only happens January 1st. I struggle with “year resolutions”…I’d rather simply have a resolution for today: a resolution to pursue Jesus today and to be faithful in the small things He has placed in front of me. One day at a time. And as I seek to pursue Jesus and silence the distractions around me what always leaves me in awe is that He never stops pursuing me.

At the end of one year and the beginning of the next I always find myself reflecting on what happened the last 365 days & looking expectantly towards the next. Going into 2018 I was looking at how I have been spending my time and the places in my life and heart that I’ve neglected. I found myself asking: is there something enslaving my heart or mind? Is there something that I feel I cannot live without? Something keeping me from what is most important?

And I knew: I had been wasting the most time scrolling thru my phone.

Going into the New Year the best way for me to refocus was to delete my social media apps for 2 weeks. As a result I learned that when you walk away from something, you realize the hold it had. When it is no longer there for you to turn to, you feel how strong a pull it had in your life. But then I also realized the freedom it allowed me to have in other areas in my life…liberty to pursue what I value most, places that had fallen to the wayside.

I learned that it’s not about resolutions but about realizing those things that are enslaving me and keeping me from freedom.

This verses has been resonating with me:

Galatians 5:1 – “It is for freedom that we are set free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

Is there a place in your life where you long to experience freedom but feel is not possible? Christ died to bring freedom to our souls, to break the chains that bind us and free us from our own flesh. Before, I was a slave to follow every dictate of my heart; now, when I begin to find myself enslaved by anything, I remind myself: Jesus died for this. Through Jesus I have victory over this. Jesus died for my freedom and I don’t want to settle for anything less.

What is pulling for your attention? If you feel too weak to break away ask the Holy Spirit for strength and depend on Him. Going into 2018 I want to stand in the liberty Christ died to secure for me. I want to be free of resolutions. I want to be free of the guilt and shame I put on myself when I fail. I want to be free of comparison. I want to be more aware of how I spend my time and put boundaries around those things that I tend to aimlessly turn to for distraction. Most importantly I want to be free to live intentionally & pursue Christ’s call.

* I read this devotional December 27th & it was a real encouragement to me, I hope it encourages you: “What is your Aim?”

Advent

What is Advent? What does it mean to me?

I had those questions after having a conversation with a friend about advent and her family traditions. During our conversation I told her that in the past, I’ve never done anything for advent and she recommended John Piper’s daily 4 minute advent devotional podcast to me. I was excited to do this leading up Christmas; it seemed simple yet meaningful. But before I began I wanted to learn more about it: I knew it is a preparation of sorts but I had never researched the meaning for myself or why it should be important to me.

Advent begins on the 4th Sunday before Christmas and lasts until Christmas Eve. The word advent means “the arrival of a notable person, thing, or event.” Synonyms are: an arrival, appearance, emergence, materialization, occurrence, dawn, birth, or rise…

…Jesus came in a time when the world was busy & many had moved on from hoping for a Savior. There was social injustice, tension, poverty, religious hypocrisy, and devastation. And it was during this time He chose to be born. And He revealed Himself; while the wise men were looking at the sky and the shepherds were watching their flocks…Jesus came and revealed Himself to the those who were in their daily routine, not expecting such a glorious advent. He revealed Himself and met them where they were and they both walked away changed: rejoicing & glorifying God — “When they [the wise men] saw the star they rejoiced with exceedingly great joy.” (Matthew 2:10) & “Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen.” (Luke 2:20)

You cannot see Jesus in all the glory of His humility, kindness, and power and walk away unchanged.

Now in the last days of 2017 Jesus is speaking to my heart, now more than ever, “Wait on Me. Place your hope in Me.” It can be easy to grow weary in waiting or discouraged in hoping, but Jesus says: “those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

Jesus came and fulfilled our hope. He came so He could be with us always: in the daily routine of life He’s revealing Himself and His glorious goodness to us. There has been a certain longing, expectation and waiting for an advent in my heart. Waiting for something new to be born, for Jesus to make beauty from ashes and trade the oil of mourning for the oil of joy. And He is.

Beginning each day with a simple advent devotion awakened an anticipation & brought the child-like excitement of Christmas back into my heart. Not for gifts, food, or occasion… but Jesus. And *I want that anticipation and excitement to carry into every day after Christmas.* What a beautiful time in history we get to live in: an in-between-He has come and is coming again. While we wait for Him to come again, He lives to be the fulfillment of our every longing and desire. I rejoice because He has come and lives to move in my heart and life daily and I can live in wonder and excitement waiting for Him to come again. It’s part of the glorious mystery of the gospel: my hope has been fulfilled, is being fulfilled, and will be filled when I am in His presence. Like Paul says: “from glory to glory.” There are glimpses of heaven here on earth that are glorious and joyful; they leave me rejoicing like the wise men and the shepherds…but today’s glimpses are dim in comparison with the glory to come.

I’d love to know if you have any advent/Christmas traditions!

“You’ve come to bring peace, to be love, to be nearer to us.
You’ve come to breathe life, to be light, to shine brighter in us.
Oh Emmanuel God with us.
You are here, You are holy;
We are standing in Your glory.”

– “God With Us” by All Sons and Daughters

In the Midst of Change

“I did my very best to put into practice all I had believed on paper.” – Katie Davis

What has God been calling me to put into practice?

Its natural for me to write about what I know I need to do…but putting the pen down, walking away, and living those words is hard. Forgiveness, kindness, vulnerability, brokenness, compassion, sacrifice, self denial, and patience are all things He’s calling me to walk in—they are easy to write about and hard to walk out.

I’ve learned a lot and have much to learn. 2017 has taught me a lot about myself; how I deal under pressure and react. Some days have been ugly, scary, and messy…where I don’t want to trust again, where I know I’m not walking in God’s will, and am not living in Jesus’ victory or in the strength of His Spirit.

It’s easy to become secluded, bitter, or resentful in times of change and transition. Whether the change is good or bad, our natural tendency is to compare it with the past and build walls because “it’ll never be the same” or “they’ll never know or love me like ____.” It’s easy to reflect so much on the past that it paralyzes you from moving forward.

I don’t want to be paralyzed. I want to walk into each new day with open hands, grateful for the past and the lessons it taught me but looking forward to where God is leading. Even the things in my past that I wouldn’t have wished for carry so much purpose. I long to walk in wisdom; holding onto lessons the past has taught me and letting go of what is not healthy or in His plan for me.

It’s easy to be swayed by my emotions or allow myself to be dictated by other’s actions. I have a choice in how I move forward and don’t want to be a victim of the past; God has called me to more than that. And He has called you to that too.

I pray that no matter what heart break or devastation is in your past or present that you would know, with full assurance and confidence, that your past does not define you and you do not need to have it all together.

When undergoing a major change it’s easy to form to habits and begin new routines simply out of survival and reaction to what has happened. But instead of survival and reaction I want this season of unexpected changes to be defined by intention, gratitude, and joy. That will only come when my eyes are fixed on Jesus. He is my goal and I am in desperate need of His grace because I fall short daily and need His Spirit in me to walk hopeful and expectant into the future. There are days in the midst of change that it pains my heart to reflect on seasons of life that are no more, but God is showing me to simply be grateful and expectant. I’m learning to rest in hope and live in peace today knowing that each new season has been predestined, designed by my loving Father, and I desire to walk in His goodness here.

Stories

“looking unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith.”
Hebrews 12:2

We each have a story. We could fill pages with the lessons we have (and have not) learned and as time passes our chapters may be filled with more heartbreak, unexpected cliff hangers or endings than we ever could’ve predicted.

For me, there was a way I expected my life to go, a general “order” of events, but deep down I knew that I shouldn’t have any expectations because I would be setting myself up for disappointment. Subconsciously though, I had a “plan” and projected my hopes and dreams into the future.

After graduating High School I remember my world feeling wide open, I felt like I didn’t have any clear direction and one by one Jesus showed me that I needed to let go of my expectations. I knew my life was in God’s hands and I needed Him to guide me, I couldn’t depend on my parents or my feelings —I had to walk in faith and trust God that no matter what lay ahead He was ordering my steps. (Prov. 16:9, Psalm 37:23) The verse and lyrics at the bottom of this post became my comfort and song.

Now I’m almost 23 and I look back at the time since I graduated High School and some seriously heart-breaking, disappointing things have happened. But God has never disappointed me. He has been with me and strengthened me in each changing season. As I sit here things have happened (and not happened) that a 16 year old me never would have never foreseen. Amazing, beautiful, once-in-a-lifetime things have also happened that I wouldn’t have thought to imagine for myself in my wildest dreams. And what leaves me in awe is that God did it. He knew (and still knows!) every desire in my heart and in His perfect timing He will fulfill them. I’ve learned that the deepest need and desire of my heart is Himself. When I place my expectation in Him my heart is at rest, free to trust and depend on my loving Father.

He knows your heart, the dreams your child-like heart dreams, and the hopes you have for the future. He knows. He’s a good Father and only gives good gifts to His children—He gave us Himself.

What word has been written into your story that you never would’ve chosen for yourself? Childless, single, jobless, homeless, lonely, displaced, betrayed, divorced, sick, bankrupt, orphaned, fatherless, hungry? …No matter where you are in your story, surrender it to Him. He is the Restorer and Redeemer of hearts. When your story is not going as you expected, remember that it’s not the end. There will be pages of loss, discomfort, suffering, heart-break, and grief—look to Him for strength, wisdom, and guidance in the trial. Stop worrying about what will come next, living in disappointment, or coveting someone else’s journey. Place your expectation in Jesus and watch as He works wonders in you-beyond anything you could ever think or imagine, His ways and thoughts are higher. In the end, when you look back, you’ll realize that even when you couldn’t see it His purpose, grace, and sovereignty was written on every page.

Trust His loving hand that wrote your story into the pages of time. Before you were ever a thought in any human’s mind — you were in His.

“Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” – Psalm 27:14

All of my life, in every season
You are still God,
I have a reason to sing.
I have a reason to worship.
– “Desert Song” by Hillsong