Thoughts – Page 14 – the lovely unexpected

Loved.

“We love because He first loved us.”

– 1 John 4:19

There’s something captivating about watching a child react to and experience life. The way they freely dance, sing, laugh, and cry without a worry of who is watching or what others are thinking. There’s purity and innocence in the way they love and interact with others. Do you remember feeling that way? Do you remember when that changed?

I remember: suddenly worrying about what others were thinking, realizing what they were wearing, how they were acting, and the attention they were getting. I realized life isn’t as simple as I once imagined, not all people are kind and their words do not all come with good intentions. I felt insecure for the first time; like I was not enough and had to change to be accepted and worth knowing. Looking back I realize how vulnerable I was because I didn’t personally know the security of Jesus’ love.

I remember feeling lonely and left out, young and unsure of who I was; thinking: “If only I was smarter, prettier, funnier, cooler, more likable…” If you are thinking like that today God is pursuing you and wants you to know that you are precious in His eyes and He bottles every tear you cry (Psalm 56:8). He is not like those who have hurt you, abandoned you, or made you feel unaccepted and unloved. This is not the superficial love we hear about in songs or see portrayed in movies.

You are valued and loved with an unchanging, faithful, grounding love; so powerful that His voice spoke the world into existence and with the same breath created you.

I wish you would walk so closely with this Love that it effects every word you say, the places you go, the way you treat others and view yourself. You do not have to worry about being loved and accepted, because you already are. Concern yourself and occupy your mind with the thoughts Jesus has towards you. Place your confidence in Him, not in others’ ever-changing opinions. Don’t let others define who you’re supposed to be or how you’re supposed to look and act.

Today I pray that you settle in your soul to believe who God says you are; don’t change and try to fit in. The world says we need to love ourselves while our real need is to know that we are loved. Like a child that so confidently trusts in their parents’ love; we can rest confident and secure in Jesus’ love for us.

“You are not an afterthought.
Love Himself dreamed you up.”
❤️
-“Diamonds” by Taylor Leonhardt

What to do with Doubt

Have you ever been in a place where you feel like God is being unfair or withholding something good from you?

In the Genesis 2:16-17 God told Adam and Eve: “You shall eat of every tree in the garden but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat.” Then, in chapter 3 the serpent lies to Eve saying: “Has God surely said that you shall not eat of every tree in the garden?” The devil causes Eve to focus on what God had prohibited and ignore all God had given. The devil causes her to doubt her good and loving Father and to believe God was unfair and holding back something good from her.

Like Eve, how frequently does the enemy’s voice cause me to doubt God’s voice?

The doubt sounds like this: “Jesus told me that He is all I need but I feel like I am in need. I know Jesus loves me, but I don’t feel it. He’s told me He’s my Husband, but I feel lonely. He’s told me He’s my provider but I want (fill in the blank).”

Have you ever felt like that? I have. And if you haven’t I’m sure you’ve heard people say those things. The doubt has taught me that everyday I must choose: to listen and trust God’s word—which is unchanging and faithful, or listen to my feelings—which waver and are unreliable.

This is what God’s word says: the Lord is my Shepherd I shall NOT want (Ps. 23:1). Good and upright is the Lord…all the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth (Ps. 25:8-10). Every good and perfect gift is from above (James 1:17). Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness (Ps. 37:3). Cast your burden on the Lord and He shall sustain you (Ps. 55:22). No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11).

So I ask myself: am I trusting His voice? Even when He has said “You shall not,” am I resting knowing that His purpose is greater and His plan is FAR better? Choose to dwell on His word and walk in truth today.

Rest and know that Jesus is who He says He is, He is the Good Shepherd. He is good.

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face;
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace.”

To a Younger Me…

If you could write a letter for a younger you to read what would it say?

Here’s what I would say:

I wish I could tell you that life is going to be everything you dreamed it would be…that you’ll never be tempted to give up hope and when you’re faith gets tested it’ll only grow stronger. I wish I could tell you those you love will always be close and your optimism will stay intact even when cruelties try to steal it away. That, although there will be hurt and sorrow, you’ll never doubt the goodness of your God and you’ll draw nearer to Him when you wear pain like a second skin.

But I can’t.

Because things will not turn out the way you thought and expected. People will let you down, you will be disappointed and left with the broken pieces of a life you once knew.

What if I told you that you will experience and see the injustice in the world. You will feel the ache and sting of saying “goodbye.” Your heart will long to stay but you’ll have to leave and your world will be shattered like you didn’t know possible.

But despite all this…I can tell you life is still beautiful. Don’t forget that. But you must learn to see it.

You must learn to see the beauty in the ordinary and not take the sweet simplicity of life for granted. You must learn to number those simplicities one by one and be thankful: for home cooked meals, for movie nights, for rainy days, for your dad’s wisdom and your mom’s smile, for your sister’s laugh and your brother’s kindness, for summer days, and hot tea, for long days and long drives, for your hometown, for vacations and spontaneous adventures, for music and singing, for games and potlucks, for Bible studies and discipleship circles, for prayer partners and lunch with friends, for loading the dishes and eating your favorite food, for waking up early, breathing in the crisp air, and taking long walks…you must learn to cherish them because you’re not promised that they’ll be there tomorrow.

I can tell you that one day you will even be able to say “Thank You” for the pain because it DOES bring a lovely contrast that you wouldn’t have known otherwise. The hurt is not beautiful in itself, but it is a gift of sorts that you must ask Jesus for the eyes and humility to see. Because He has promised to be with you ALWAYS you can walk in faith—not in fear. You do not have to fear what unexpected heartbreak or tragedy you will walk through. Because He’ll be with you. And He’s all you need. One day you’ll see how it’s made you weaker and stronger at the same time, and they’re both needful. The unexpected has a way of stripping away every false hope and every unmerited expectation you’ve put on man. A way of peeling your gripped fingers—one by one—off of the control you once thought you held — only to learn it was an illusion all along. And a way of exposing and tearing you down till you feel raw and vulnerable—but TRUST because in that place His presence will be even more tangible.

His comfort will be as real as the pain and His healing as apparent as the wound.

As I write these words now a part of me knows I’m writing them for an older me to read too…when my heart is broken again and I’m tempted to give up because I don’t think I can take any more. I will be able to look back and remember how He has carried a younger me through. And just because it doesn’t work out how I ‘dreamed’ His thoughts and plans are higher and better than anything I could ever dream up. And I can be reminded:

that He will do it again.

“In time, I’ll let you in on everything I’m planning.
When it’s time, I’ll let you see everything you’re asking Me.
When it’s time, you will know why there are things I’m hiding from you.
But I’m gonna satisfy everything in the meantime.”

“In The Meantime” by Jess Ray

Why Pain?

“Come, let us return to the Lord.
For He has torn us, but He will heal us;
He has wounded us, but He will bandage us…
So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.” – Hosea 6

God has purpose for the pain we experience…but do we believe that?

Pain breaks, tears, and wounds. You cannot brace yourself for the blow or the way it will leave you feeling: vulnerable, betrayed, lonely, confused, broken, hopeless. And that’s why It is our instinct to avoid pain. We would rather hear about and experience comfort and prosperity. But, as Christians, we follow Jesus; the Man of sorrows aquatinted with grief (Isaiah 53:3). If our Savior chose to be identified in such a way, how do we expect to live a pain free life?

When we pray “Jesus, make me more like You” do we mean it?

The truth is: the closer I am aquatinted with pain and grief and sorrow, the more like Jesus I become and the more I can empathize with the hurting like Jesus did. The Bible calls it ‘the fellowship of His sufferings’ in Phil. 3:10. Do not allow the very thing that God desires to use to draw you closer to Him harden your heart towards Him. Like the verse says: LET Him heal you. LET Him bandage you. What is pain’s purpose? For you to learn to press on to KNOW Him. HE is the purpose.

Is it enough for me if the purpose of the pain is for me to KNOW Him more? Simply so I can experience His healing?

I don’t need to live afraid of pain like the rest of the world because my God is a Comforter and Healer, Redeemer and Restorer. I don’t need to be hopeless or despairing when I’m blindsided by betrayal. Pain has an incomparable way of allowing us to know our own desperation which leads us to PRESS ON to KNOW Jesus. If you’re not allowing the pain in your life to accomplish that in you… then bring it to Jesus’ feet. LET HIM heal, bind, and accomplish His purpose. Because of Jesus we can ENDURE the hurt; just like HE DID-for the JOY that was set before Him. We can have joy because He is here. (Heb. 12:2)

I’m learning this, day by day. Joy in the midst of pain. Hope in the midst of sorrow. Knowing Him while all else that I’ve known is falling apart. It’s not easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for comfort because I’m getting to know the Comforter (2 Cor 1.3-5), the One who empathizes with my weakness (Heb 4:15).

Allow what seems hopeless to lead you to hope in Him.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15.13