Category: Thoughts

…what’s been on my heart and mind lately.

b e h o l d .

/bəˈhōld/

a. to see or observe (a thing or person, especially a remarkable or impressive one)
b. to perceive through sight or apprehension
c. giving a peculiar vivacity to the style by bidding the reader or hearer to attend to what is said: "Behold! See! Lo!"
d. when a thing is specified which is unexpected yet sure

Leading up to Christmas the word “BEHOLD” was repeatedly on my heart & mind. It’s a word that we don’t use in our everyday vocabulary anymore but it was used frequently in the Bible especially by God, Jesus, & the prophets. As a matter of fact, “behold” appears 593 times in the NKJ version of the Bible!

Think about it: “BEHOLD!” — it’s a word that creates emphasis & causes the listener to pause so they can be fully attentive & grasp the full extent & implication of what is about to be shared, even to the point of visually imagining. It expresses that there is something life-altering coming (good or bad) so it is crucial for the listener to contemplate & comprehend each word and take action as a result of what they have been made aware of.

Many times the word behold evokes imagination and causes us to paint a picture in our minds-eye with what is being said . . . It’s more than just listening — it calls you to ponder & consider the ramifications of what is being said because it has a future consequences: something that is not yet seen but will certainly occur.

Throughout the years leading up to Jesus’ birth God spoke thru the prophets to tell His people about the coming Messiah: Behold! Their redemption was coming! Their salvation was near! God did NOT want His people to miss what He was doing through the birth of His Son.
The word behold was frequently used in reference to Jesus’ birth & life:

“Behold, the virgin shall be with child,
and bear a Son, & they shall call His name Immanuel,”
which is translated,
“God with us.”
-Matthew 1:23

“Tell the daughter of Zion,
‘Behold, your King is coming to you,
Lowly, and sitting on a donkey,
A colt, the foal of a donkey.’”
-Matthew 21:5

It’s so easy, especially during Christmas time, to get pulled into the distraction & chaos around us that we forget to stop, remember, and ‘behold’ what God is doing in and around us. Our spiritual sight can quickly be blinded by physical distractions.

And it is much like the days that Jesus was born into: Bethlehem was crowded with people coming from everywhere for the census, it was loud, and the inns were filled. It amazes me that GOD CHOSE for His Son to be born amidst this scene, it’s like He was saying to the world:
“What are you going to set your eyes on?
What is going on around you or what I am doing?
BEHOLD: your salvation has come.
BEHOLD: what I spoke thru the prophets is coming to pass.
BEHOLD: what manner of love I am lavishing on you!
BEHOLD: My Son. Wrapped in cloth & laying in a manger.”

And God does not want us to miss what He is doing today…

“Behold, God is my salvation,
I will trust and not be afraid;
‘For YAH, the LORD, is my strength and song;
He also has become my salvation.’”
Isaiah 12:2

“I am He that liveth,
and was dead;
and, behold,
I am alive for evermore…”
-Revelation 1:18

“Behold, I am coming quickly!
Hold fast what you have,
that no one may take your crown.”
-Revelation 3:11

As I look around during Christmas-time I see how Western culture wants to sell us a very shallow & superficial version of Christmas: one that’s filled with fluffy sayings, spending sprees, sometimes stressful gatherings, Santa, and false expectations. All for one day that comes and goes . . . People sing “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” — but let’s be honest: when you look around it certainly doesn’t feel like that. During the holidays grief & loss becomes more apparent than ever & it can feel impossible to celebrate.

Sadness & heartbreak do not go on vacation, sickness does not take a leave of absence, and pain does not have pity because it’s a ‘holiday.’

And yet, in the midst of all the hustle, I am reminded that Jesus came for the poor, the broken-hearted, the captive, & the prisoner. He didn’t ignore our sin or seek to cover our mess: instead He entered into our broken world to become our Savior.

“the LORD has anointed Me to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
& the opening of the prison to them that are bound.”
(Isaiah 61:1)

We were not created to settle for a sparkly, superficial, & synthetic Christmas that disappoints and leaves you empty on the 26th. That version of Christmas comes and goes with decorations — but the joy that comes from rejoicing in God coming to bring everlasting life is a joy that sustains through the deepest sorrow & most devastating loss.

As I behold the reality of our world’s brokenness it’s easy for cynicism to invade but I am reminded more than ever that THIS IS WHY Jesus came. HE ENTERED into our world, to put on flesh, & experience humanity so He could sympathize.

We can celebrate God’s demonstration of love for us: Him sending His Son to save & redeem. Jesus came to take the sting & power of death so we can have eternal life. The good news of the gospel is for all people, no matter where they are or how they got there.

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
who, being in the form of God,
thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
but made Himself of no reputation,
and took upon Him the form of a servant,
and was made in the likeness of men…”
-Philippians 2:5-7

On this side of eternity we are not excused from the consequences of sin in this broken world but we are redeemed & know that He is working is all things together for the good to those who love Him & are called according to His purpose. While we still feel the weight of darkness He promises that the darkness will not overcome the light. He is the Light in the darkness & our Joy in the sorrow. While darkness & sorrow are still present He gives an incomprehensible peace and unexplainable joy.

“In Him was life, & that life was the light of all mankind.
The light shines in the darkness,
& the darkness has not overcome it.”
John 1:4-5

What a wonderful & awe-inspiring thing to BEHOLD!

“The empty filled, the wounded healed
The broken back together
The poor are blessed, the weary rest
We will dance forever
The blinded see, the chained are free
The doubtful now believer
The outcast known, the orphan home
You are my Redeemer
Behold, Behold, Behold what love can do
Behold, Behold He’s making all things new!
The lost returned, the voiceless heard
The mourner now rejoicing
The mountains shake the world awake
Creation all composing
The sad untrue, the earth renewed
The song has found its singer
The darkness light, the dead alive
You are my Redeemer”
– “BEHOLD” by Taylor Leonhardt

the break of dawn.

This verse in Psalms encouraged me tremendously over the summer & now, as I find myself looking back, it brings me such comfort to reflect on what God has done & is continuing to do.

Maybe you can relate to walking thru seasons that feel ‘dark.’ Seasons when you wonder what Jesus is doing or where He is. Seasons that test your hope…

Are you in the middle of something where it feels like day will never come?
Has the night been too long?
Have you doubted if you’ll ever see the light of day?
Have you been disappointed: thinking the prayer should’ve already been answered?
Are you close to giving up?

O heart . . .
don’t lose hope —
day is dawning.
light is breaking.
the sun is about to pierce thru.
— and it will change everything . . .

But what if it looks different than you expected?
. . . are you ready to receive that?

Maybe your situation won’t change but you’ll realize that Jesus has been with you all along.
You have not been lost.
You have not been alone.
He is right by your side: guiding you with the light of His presence.

Often times we pray for seasons suffering or waiting to be removed because we know that God is all-powerful & can change our circumstances in an instant. So we struggle to trust Him when when our prayers seem unanswered and our faith is tested when nothing changes.

Many times we think our faith will be strengthened when the suffering is removed… but true faith is produced when we pray for God’s will to be done amidst the storm.

Maybe the greatest miracle isn’t a change of circumstance
but a change of heart.

God changes our hearts & refines our faith in the fire & thru the storm: we learn to walk by faith when we cannot see what’s ahead. We learn to trust His character when we don’t feel His presence.

We can trust Him in the dark: because He is the light.
Dawn is breaking.
He is in your midst.

"There is no other name but the name that is Jesus
He who was & still is, & will be through it all
So come what may in the space between
All the things unseen & this reckoning
I know I will never be alone

There'll be another in the fire
Standing next to me
There'll be another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
How good You've been to me
There is a cross that bears the burden
Where another died for me"
-Another in the Fire, Hillsong

like a stranger

Hebrews 11:8-10  “By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed & went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac & Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect & builder is God.”

…In the promised land like a stranger.

After reading these verses I had such a new perspective on Abraham’s life…
I began thinking about how Abraham must’ve felt… can you imagine?
By faith Abraham obeyed the word of God, walked by faith, and went into a land that he had never seen before. When Abraham arrived in the Promised Land, Hebrews says that “he made his home by faith in the promised land like a stranger.“

Did you ever realize that Abraham felt like an outcast, foreigner, and stranger in the land God promised to him? Even though the land was his inheritance and something God promised to give him, it was not yet his… other nations & people occupied the land. Every day must’ve been a test of his faith. He must’ve thought: “I am here: where the Lord has called me, and this is my land, even though it doesn’t look like it now.”

Abraham had to walk by faith — not by sight.
He had to trust God for what he could not see.

Abraham’s life must’ve felt like a constant in-between. Doesn’t walking by faith often feel like that? He was where God wanted him, but he had not yet arrived to where he was going. Abraham understood that the promised land was not his final destination. He was looking forward to heaven & he was willing to follow God anywhere because He was the Reward.

Genesis 15:1 says: “After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: ‘Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your Shield, your exceedingly great Reward.'”

Don’t you love that?!

Many times I’ve viewed the “promised land” as some far-off, dream destination where all my worries and cares will be dissolved because everything will be right & at peace. —  but that wasn’t what the promised land was for Abraham or the Israelites! The promise land was not a care-free, luxurious, comfortable, perfect destination. Nope. On the contrary: while it was a land flowing with milk and honey there were also battles to be fought, land to be conquered, and territory to be won.
But the promised land was the place God had prepared for Abraham and his descendants – it was the place where God’s presence was.

“The Lord your God,
who is going before you,
will fight for you,
as He did for you in Egypt,
before your very eyes.”
-Deuteronomy 1:30

Abraham’s life was lived by faith. He never could’ve imagined what the future would hold for his descendants: that Joseph would go to Egypt, that the Egyptians would enslave the Israelites, that God would raise up Moses to deliver His people, and that God would lead His people BACK to the promised land… Abraham did not know what the future held, but he trusted God one step at a time & surrendered his future to God.

Sometimes we have expectations of the promised land: we place all our hope in a “dream destination” when God is trying to get our attention and say, “No place will ever be for you what only I can be. Even the place I call you to. If you are looking for fulfillment in a certain destination or achievement you will only live in constant let-down & disappointment. I AM the destination. Follow Me, My voice, & My leading. I AM the only One who will fulfill every longing and desire of your heart.“

Do you feel out of place where you are?
Are you scared of taking a step of faith into the unknown even though you know that God is calling you?
Have you obeyed the call of God to “GO” but now that you’ve arrived & it isn’t what you expected?
Are you struggling with disappointment or let-down?
Have you been ashamed to confess that you still have no idea what you’re doing?
Did you expect everything to suddenly make sense when you obeyed God’s voice; but it doesn’t?

Let me tell you: you’re not alone!! But I pray that you are encouraged, as am I, because I bet Abraham felt like us at times. But I also know that Abraham also understood something that changed everything — his whole heart’s desire was to be where God was. GOD was his Reward. The promise land was not the reward and it was not designed or created to fulfill Abraham — the promise land was where God would increase Abraham’s faith and develop a real, genuine, life-altering relationship with Abraham. THAT is why God called Abraham to the promised land and that is why God is calling us to walk by faith: because what we learn along the journey is of far greater value that any physical destination or possession.

As I read in Hebrews about Abraham’s faith I am reminded that his walk was not one of perfect submission and immediate obedience: his journey was filled with hasty, self-reliant decisions & he was a man who experienced fear, unbelief & doubt. But in Hebrews 11 there is no record of his failures. Isn’t that such a testimony of God’s amazing mercy & grace?!

I believe that God’s grace on Abraham’s life led him to live a life of worship and awe. His faith was in response to the indescribable grace God had shown him. He was a man God had set His affection upon: not because of anything Abraham had done, but simply because God loved him.

Like Abraham, God is calling each of us to a place He has prepared —  He calls us because that journey leads us into deeper faith and relationship with Him. The destination isn’t the goal. The relationship is. Faith and trust is the goal.

God is calling us to live as sojourners: people just passing through, walking by faith, living in response to our gracious Savior, on a journey to the place HE has prepared. A place where our faith shall be our eyes.

“Behold, I send an Angel before you:
to keep you in the way
& to bring you into the place
which I have prepared.”
-Exodus 23:20

"God has a final destination for Israel, but in between are steps: layers of conflict and battles, but He promises Israel that He will go before them and fight their battles for them. Every step of the way has been set by God, and one step leads to the next. Rarely do we see many steps ahead of us. We need to walk entirely by faith. But like God did for Israel: He prepares us one step at a time... As a Christian, I go forward under the power of the Holy Spirit, who is leading and preparing me for the path chosen for me... We may not know where we are going, but as long as we are following the Lord, we have nothing to fear. As we let go of our past, we can get a firm grip on the future God has for us. As we go along God's path, we will find all the provisions we need to be who God wants us to be so that we can arrive at the place God has prepared for us. By faith, each day we access God's provision for us. We never know what we will need, but God does and has made full provision. God has provided a cloud by day and a fire by night in order to get us to our destination." -A.W. Tozer

Why Are You Running? (pt 2)

(click here to read part 1)

What am I running from?
I know.
God knows.
And as His child He will not allow me to continue without encountering great difficulty & resistance. — That’s His lovingkindness & grace that never stops pursuing me. 

He will not allow me to hold onto something that is slowly destroying me from the inside out. 

I see myself in Jonah. The story of Jonah —much like mine— is a testimony to the patient, persistent, pursuit of the One who knows everything about me and desires me in spite of me. He knew I would resist, disobey, & run… nevertheless He does not stop in His pursuit. 

In Jonah’s story I am reminded of this time and time again. Even in Jonah’s rebellion God was going before him: preparing obstacles to remind him of His love:

1:4 — “But the Lord sent out a great wind…”
1:17 — “Now the Lord had prepared a great fish…”
4:6 — “And the Lord God prepared a plant…”
4:7 — “as morning dawned the next day God prepared a worm…”
4:8 — “God prepared a vehement east wind…“

Perhaps Jonah thought it would be easy to run, hide, & go the opposite way; but Jonah didn’t know that God was going to run after Jonah just as hard as he was trying to run away. Jonah could not outrun God’s hand. Jonah learned that God’s salvation extended even to the bottom of the ocean.

Sometimes the appeal of rebellion is greater than obedience, but just like God extended mercy and grace to the Ninevites, He was also extending mercy & grace to Jonah.

In chapter 2, after Jonah is swallowed by a great fish, he prays: reflecting on his own despair & rejoicing in the deliverance God provided for him. Then, in verse 9, Jonah turns the focus away from himself and says “THOSE:” 

“Those who regard worthless idols
Forsake their own Mercy.” Jonah 2:9

Who is Jonah referring to? As you read the chapter that verse seems somewhat out of place… perhaps he is thinking about the Ninevites: accusing the them of forsaking their chance at receiving mercy because of their idolatry…

This reminds me that when we choose to run from the Lord we must also realize that we are running TOWARDS something else…when you attempt to flee from God’s presence you are also running from all He is: love, joy, peace… When you run from God you are running TOWARDS confusion & emptiness.

What worthless idol do I continue to run to?
What am I holding that is keeping me from clinging tightly to God?
An idol is anything that we chose to worship & serve apart from God.

The NIV version of this verse reads: “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.” How often have I chosen to cling to fear or pride and forfeited God’s grace?

Your hands cannot cling to idols
& His hand simultaneously.

To cling to grace you must loose your grip on pride and your desire to call the shots.

I’m a lot like Jonah: I know how it feels to be in rebellion and disobedience, thinking I’m in control and can outrun God. But stories like Jonah’s remind me that it’s a lost cause to hide from God: He’s just too gracious. He’s too kind. He’s altogether holy & unlike me. And yet He patiently insists on making me more like Him. 

That is a grace I’ll never reach the end of.

May we spend our days letting go of worthless idols so that we may be those who embrace the grace God freely gives.

“You must not turn aside,
for then you would go after futile things
which can not profit or deliver,
because they are futile.” 2 Samuel 2:21

“Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things,
And revive me in Your way.” Psalm 119:37

“You are not hidden
There’s never been a moment you were forgotten
You are not hopeless
Though you have been broken, your innocence stolen

There is no distance
That cannot be covered over & over
You’re not defenseless
I’ll be your Shelter, I’ll be your Armor

I will send out an army to find you
In the middle of the darkest night
It’s true, I will rescue you
I will never stop marching to reach you
In the middle of the hardest fight
It’s true, I will rescue you“

-Lauren Daigle “Rescue”