Thoughts – Page 9 – the lovely unexpected

He’s Holding You

"I am always with You,

You hold me by my right hand,

You guide me with Your counsel"

I read that verse in Psalm 73:23-24 and the imagery struck me. Have you ever seen a dad holding the hand of his young daughter as they walk or cross the street? Do you know that feeling of security and assurance? Many times the child doesn’t have to worry about where they are going, they must only stay by their parent’s side and keep their hand in the strong, secure grip of their parent’s…

…and I thought of my heavenly Father and the abandoning sense of trust and confidence I can have; knowing that He is guiding and leading.

When I read this verse I felt God speak to my heart: “I’m holding you. Even when you’re unsure, I’m guiding you. Keep your hand in mine.”

How foolish of me to fear or worry when God Almighty: the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Maker of heaven and earth, and Savior of my soul is holding my hand.

All of a sudden whatever is causing anxiety disappears in light of the knowledge that He is holding me.

God desires to hold your hand and guide you. As a matter of fact, He promises to! But we must let Him. We must keep our hand in His and walk by faith; even when we are unsure and cannot see the final destination.

How beautiful is that!!? Meditate on that & I pray it brings comfort and joy to your heart ♥

every hour I need Thee ♥

“If we fail to refocus, confess, and seek God
we will begin to try and fit Him into our own plan and selfish purpose.
Beware of a Christianity that is all about fulfilling your own plan for your life.
My life is not about me — it’s about glorifying Him.”

That quote is from the sermon I heard this past weekend and it really resonated with me because Jesus has been impressing that same message on my heart over and over. This past year I’ve been faced with my own tendency to choose self-protection & comfort over faith & trust. Which boils down to pride.

Pride : an empty assurance which trusts in its own power & resources

Pride wants me to focus only on myself. It is the voice of pride that tells me “But, what about you?” When I am faced with something I know the Lord desires me to surrender, pride whispers: “You’ve realized it, isn’t that is enough? You don’t really need to change or surrender. Just being aware of it is enough.” Pride will always talk me out of self sacrifice and humility.

“Pride will lie and only tell you the story of fear, pain and loss — it will tell you to only think of yourself and avoid the suffering…but pride fails to tell you about the comfort, joy and peace God is longing to meet you with when you leave yourself and walk to Him in the middle of the storm.” – Maria Furlough

Pride is the root cause of my fear, doubt, and disobedience. Pride causes me to worry: about myself and my future security.

“It was through pride that the devil became the devil:
pride leads to every other vice—
it is the complete anti-God state of mind.”
― C.S. Lewis

Pride tries to stay under the radar . . . unsuspecting, unseen & unrealized. Why? Simply so it can continue to grow; permeating every decision and action in my life.

Pride keeps you thinking you’re in control . . . if you feel like you cannot determine the outcome of a situation you immediately want to run the opposite direction & stay in your comfort zone.

Pride is the biggest enemy to vulnerability . . . When your heart longs to be open & honest, pride says: “What difference will it make? You’ll simply become more invested and they’ll be able to hurt you more. You don’t need that. Stay shallow. Stay guarded. Protect yourself.”

Pride distorts everything and anything the Lord is calling you to . . . I frequently say that I want all God has for me but I am guilty of wanting it on my own terms. I want a story without pain, suffering, loss or disappointment. Why? Because I would choose a road that is paved, clear-cut & safe — but that road requires no faith, no trust, no humility, and no reliance on God.

Pride will always keep me from God . . . God hates, abhors, and detests pride (Prov. 16:5).

“As long as you are proud you cannot know God.
A proud person is always looking down on things and people:
and, of course, as long as you are looking down
you cannot see something that is above you.”
― C.S. Lewis

So what is the cure? Nearness to Jesus. It is impossible to leave His presence proud. Humility the result of resting, being, and simply abiding in His presence.

I used to resist humility and vulnerability because I believed the lie (and still fight it at times) that they are signs of weakness. If I exposed or shared my weaknesses they would be used against me so I fought to maintain a sense of capability & control. But you know what I’ve learned? I’ve learned that Jesus will never, ever use my weakness against me. He will never take advantage of me or betray my trust. When we step away from the pride, put down the mask, and confess our desperate need Jesus’ immediate reaction is to come close because:

He is near to those who have a broken and humbled heart. (Psalm 34:18)

Under the surface we’re all hungry for humility. We’re sick of the pride that causes our hearts to harden and makes us keep people at arms length. You are not alone. There is no condemnation in Christ, He reveals sin so He can be near and so we can find forgiveness and restoration in Him ♥ You are free to stand with arms high and hands empty singing: “Lord, I need You. Every hour I need You.”

“Blessed are the poor in spirit:
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 5:3

He gives more grace. Therefore He says:
‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’
Therefore submit to God.
Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
James 4:6-7

Fear.

“I was constantly afraid that God was holding out two options & asking me to choose the better one.”

“I think we either lean in close and risk it all or we stay ruled by the fear of losing” -pg 168

In June I read “Come Matter Here” by Hannah Brencher. She talks a lot about the fear and anxiety that comes with change or the prospect of change. Maybe you can relate to thinking of all the reasons something could never work out or why the thing you’re dreaming for could never really happen. Or the fear that overtakes you when what you hoped for begins to happen and you freeze, asking “Wait. Is this really what I wanted?”

Jesus has just been reminding me to listen to His voice & let truth silence the lies. He has a story so much greater for you: don’t let fear steal it.

“There is so much good in sticking with something and not giving up. I hope you learn that faith isn’t a thing to check off a list; it’s a lifelong pursuit. Don’t run from this stuff; run towards it with everything you have. While I don’t hope that something comes along to break your heart I know it inevitably will.  And so, when the storm kits and the darkness tries to win I hope you remember that your spirit is made of something thick and durable. You’re a fighter, and no one gets to take that from you. That darkness doesn’t get to have you. I hope you never get too scared to speak out your story. Your story isn’t a burden; it’s a healing balm.. May God use it to fix and restore; encourage and revive." -H.B. pg 232

If we are not renewing our minds in the truth of God’s Word, allowing it to transform us, we will continue in the same comfortable, unhealthy patterns.

“Usher in hope where fear wants to stand.” - H.B. pg 47

I recently read John chapter 3 when Jesus is talking to Nicodemus; in their conversation Jesus repeatedly says, “I tell you the truth.” Jesus is challenging everything Nicodemus knew or presupposed about Him but ultimately it comes down to a choice for Nicodemus: he could fall back on what he had always known and reject Jesus’ words or choose to believe the truth about Jesus and follow Him.

“Life isn’t about the destinations  we can boast about getting to; it’s about all the walking in between that feels pointless when you try to take a picture of it because no one will understand it like you do. It’s the in between stuff that fleshes out a story: gives it guts and transformation.” -H.B. pg 31

Everyday I am faced with the same decision: Will I allow the same lie to play over in my mind on repeat? Will I turn back to fear because it’s what I’ve done all along and the prospect of change is scary?

“Maybe you’ve been in my spot before...It’s the moment when you had really high expectations for something and it just didn’t work out the way you thought it would. You did your best, but you feel like God has other plans and maybe you weren’t prepared for that. I am learning that God doesn’t bring us places to meet our expectations. For Him, it’s a lot more about transformation.” -H.B. pg 71

No matter the lie fear is telling me & no matter how I feel, who Jesus is does not and will not change. I have the choice to listen to His voice, renew my mind in the truth, and let Him remind me of who He is and who He created me to be. And I pray you will choose the same.

“For years, I was consumed by what it would mean to “matter” in this world. To people. To someone special. To God.

I think we’ve all felt that. We want to know that our lives matter, that this isn’t some crazy accident we all got stuck inside of. I started to chase after whatever the world told me mattered. Success. Acclaim. Love. Happiness. I became obsessed with this idea of “getting there,” wherever “there” was. I was in a constant state of waiting to arrive somewhere better.

I didn’t know yet that all the good things—like faith, love, trust—don’t happen overnight. You can’t pick them up from the drive-thru or snag them in an instant download. It’s easier to run after the next thing the world tells you matters. It’s easier to never do the hard work of planting your roots or letting people in as you grab your suitcase and run hard toward “the next thing.”— But when you get tired of running, there’s a better story waiting to begin. I promise, it’s better. Yet there’s a catch: you’ll just have to stick around long enough. You’ll have to dig in and do the work—the work that happens in the here and now.” -H.B. pg 16

“Just be here now. You are going to miss life if you keep asking me if you are in the right place.”

“Lord, I want to see.”

I recently read the petition of the blind man in Luke 18:41 and found my heart crying the same prayer:

“Lord, I want to see.”

He pleads in humility, with unwavering resolve, and brings his desire before Jesus: “I want to see.”

This blind man teaches me that my prayers don’t have to be long or eloquent. I don’t have to talk around the problem, trying to cover up my need, or act like everything is ok. I can go to Jesus; fully trusting that He will meet me where I am and He’s not afraid of my honesty.

No matter what darkness you are facing: Jesus, the Light of the World, is there to meet you. Maybe He won’t take the darkness away—but He’ll be the light and give you eyes to see Him amidst the dark.

His prayer also convicted me. In seasons of questioning or confusion I have prayed a similar prayer: “Lord, open my eyes! I want to see! I want to understand! I want clarity, I need Your guidance and direction. I am helpless; I need You!” And Jesus has answered by opening my eyes, convicting my heart and revealing something I hadn’t seen before. But I have often been quick to turn and fix my eyes on something else—because I’d rather not acknowledge my weakness or admit my need because I don’t want to do what is required to change. So I choose distraction: there are a million things vying for our attention & it’s so easy to habitually turn to what’s designed to mindlessly entertain, dull the pain, or unsuccessfully satisfy us.

Life is messy, it hurts, it gets uncomfortable, and its easy to think that it would be better to act like it’s all ok; to keep our eyes closed and never have to face the reality of our desperation.

Because honestly: seeing hurts. I’m sure this man stood in wonder and awe as he saw God’s creation for the first time—but I’m sure his heart also broke when he saw pain and injustice that he had only heard or felt before.

But his life was changed forever because of Jesus. I imagine how many times he must’ve shared his story, with tears in his eyes, clouding his vision, proclaiming the goodness of how Jesus answered him. He probably never grew tired of telling his miracle.

Jesus is not ashamed, embarrassed, or turned away by your need—He does not look away in an attempt to keep from making eye contact. He sees. He wants to meet you in your longing. But more than that: He wants to heal, change, and restore you.

This blind man could’ve chosen to keep silent. He could’ve allowed every doubt and fear to keep him quiet. He could’ve listened to the people telling him to be quiet. He could’ve stopped crying out after the 2nd or 3rd try; but he didn’t—because of his desperation he persisted.

This kind of desperation requires humility and hunger. It sounds like “I don’t know, but I’m trusting Jesus; calling out to Him and I will continue to cry out because I know He hears.” It requires you to lay down your pride, your efforts, and depend completely on God.

It’s ok to admit that you’re scared.
It’s ok to say that you don’t understand.
It’s ok to confess that you don’t know the next step.
It’s ok if you feel like you’re still finding your way—we all are.
It’s ok to cry, “Lord, I want to see.”

Instead of walking away and distracting yourself from your need – let Him fill it. Let your need bring you to your knees and to His feet. Don’t run to a quick-fix—go to Him.

Just as desperately as you want to see;

He desperately wants to open your eyes.

“I once was lost but now I’m found.
Was blind but now I see.”

“Open up my eyes to the things unseen;
Show me how to love like You have loved me.”