Category: Things I’m learning

Have you ever viewed your life in terms of “milestones” or “destinations“??

I used to think about my life like a timeline with markers indicating when I wanted certain events to happen. Have you ever thought the same?? As my life unfolded I quickly found out that things don’t turn out quite as I’d envisioned and I was left thinking “what now?”

About two years ago I was at a crossroads in my life, asking the Lord for wisdom and direction on which way to go. My natural instinct, when placed in a circumstance that involves risk, is to pick the safer, more comfortable option. The weight of walking into something that could end badly (or even good!) is sometimes too great a risk and I’d rather stay on comfortable & familiar ground.

But, when the Lord asks you to step out in faith, His call keeps tugging at your heart and the most important thing you can decide to do is obey, trust, and follow His voice.

So, regarding this particular crossroads, He gave me direction and peace to move forward, but didn’t tell me what the outcome would be. He just told me to take the first step and He would reveal the next step in His timing. So often, I want to know the next 20+ steps and what the destination will be. I want to be able to weigh the risk-to-benefit ratio and determine if it’s worth it.

But that’s not how faith works. . .

Faith is trusting God to lead, guide, and direct your steps – even when you can’t see where it’ll lead. Faith is resting in Jesus because HE knows the outcome, so I don’t have to.

What He has shown me, time and time again, is that He is more concerned with the PROCESS than the destination. When we follow the Lord and things don’t happen as we expected we can feel betrayed, lost, and confused. But it is often in those very situations of loss, sorrow, and pain that our faith grows the most and we learn to depend on Jesus more.

The act of trusting Jesus and walking by faith IS the goal. He desires everything we walk THRU to increase our faith and deepen our walk with Him. So, when my life starts to take on a different trajectory than I had envisioned, I can be expectant and hopeful — because He is in control of the story, not me. For a long-time I simply wanted to check things off the ” life bucket-list” that I had created in my mind, the list with: ☐ graduate college ☐ get my dream job ☐ get married ☐ travel ☐ buy a house ☐ have kids, etc. listed. In my mind I had created that list because I saw that people typically measure “success” by those achievements. So, when I didn’t accomplish those things when I had expected to, I was left feeling like I had failed and was missing out.

But I’ve come to learn that if God were to give us a “bucket-list,” I think it would simply read:

☐ walk by faith

So, no matter the job I have, whether or not I have a college degree, am married, have children, or travel — I can ask myself: “am I walking by faith and trusting God where I am today?” And, if walking by faith does lead to the things I had desired, then Jesus will also use those to mature and deepen my faith! Either way He’s is growing faith in me. My hope is no longer in an outcome and my faith is no longer reliant on getting what I want.

In the same way, when things come into our lives that we never would’ve asked for — heartbreak, unexpected tragedy, loss, betrayal, trials — we have the assurance that God is working amidst the pain to draw us closer to Himself, even if we can’t see it at first, or on this side of eternity; He does not waste our pain.

No matter where in life you find yourself; whether it’s where you wanted to be, or somewhere you never imagined you would be, may we desire God’s will (not our own!) for our lives. When we keep our eyes on Him and follow His leading, even if the situation ends differently than you would’ve hoped, He is glorified.

When the timeline of your life doesn’t follow what you had in mind, you can trust that God is working behind the scenes, writing a story so much better than you could’ve created yourself. And it’ll be so much better than the timeline you had for yourself.

I know it is h-a-r-d to let go of expectations and release certain desires to the Lord but we can rest knowing that He’s a much better Author than we’ll ever be.

It leaves me thinking: in the end, if I check everything off my “bucket-list” but have no faith to show for it, what will I have really accomplished of true value??

“And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?”
-Matthew 16:26 (NLT)

There’s a line I’ve heard in many contemporary worship songs that, in one way or another, repeats a phrase like:

“You’ve never failed me yet”
“You’ll never let me down”
“He’ll never fail me”
“You hold nothing back from me”

Are you familiar with that line??

And, while I believe wholeheartedly that those words are true, there have been times when I have questioned God’s purpose amidst suffering, have felt like He is withholding something, or have struggled to trust His timing. Times when I have asked: “God, where are You? What could You possibly be accomplishing through this?! You can change this, but why is nothing changing?!”

And in those times, when I hear a line like: “You’ve never failed me!” I feel myself cringe because in the moment my mind is telling me that God has failed because He’s not doing what I expected or asked Him to.

In those times I face the realization that God does not move or work according to my expectations. How could I expect Him to act to fulfill my expectations when His knowledge and understanding is so far above mine and His ways and His thoughts surpass mine? (Isaiah 55:8-9) My expectations are short-sighted but my God sees eternally: from the beginning to the end – so I can either allow my circumstance to create doubt, anxiety, and fear or I can view it as an opportunity to trust God’s plan to a greater degree, even when it doesn’t look how I had anticipated.

Proverbs 3:5-6 comes to my mind: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and HE WILL direct your path.”

When God isn’t answering the prayer like you had asked, when your circumstance grows worse, when the timeline of your life is not playing out like you’d hoped, when you lose someone close to you when you wanted them to stay, or when you find yourself wrestling with God’s purpose; we are faced with a choice: to walk in doubt or glorify Him amidst the uncertainty: knowing that HE is still on His throne and is in control. What comes as a surprise to me is not a surprise to Him. He already knew what was ahead, He is walking with me, and He was preparing me for this even before I knew I would be here.

When I think of unmet expectations I think of the story of Lazarus:
Lazarus’ sisters, Mary and Martha, ask Jesus to come because their brother is very sick, near death. Instead of leaving immediately, Jesus stays where He is for 2 more days. By the time Jesus arrives, Lazarus has been in the tomb for 4 days and Mary and Martha both make this statement: “Lord, if You had been here, our brother would not have died.” (John 11:32)

Oh I can relate to that — the feeling of abandonment and questioning Jesus’ presence because He didn’t come like I’d asked and didn’t prevent what I knew He could. “Lord, how could You allow this loss? If only…..” Our hearts are prone to ask these questions. But verse 5 of chapter 11 gives me great hope, it says: “now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” I love that the Holy Spirit wrote that in the beginning of the chapter because we could look at Jesus’ actions and label them as negligent or unloving — but Jesus wanted to erase any doubt in our minds that His delay was due to a lack of compassion. Because HE LOVED LAZARUS AND HIS SISTERS. The purpose of His delay was so He could increase their faith and work a greater miracle.

This story shows me that when Jesus isn’t showing up how we’d asked or anticipated His love for us has not changed and He is still in control. I can trust Him because He. never. fails.

I don’t know why the unthinkable happens when we’ve prayed over and over to be spared. But in the middle of the “not knowing” there is a lot of truth that God’s Word assures us of — Jesus does not forsake us for one moment in the middle of our suffering. If God allowed His very own Son to endure the most brutal and gruesome death (and that was His perfect plan for redemption and salvation!) then I cannot expect to avoid suffering. Jesus’ suffering reminds me that death is not the end and in God’s kingdom sometimes the most miraculous moments are coming to pass when it seems most dark and hopeless. Our pain is never wasted, He is accomplishing His perfect will in and thru us even when it comes about in a way we didn’t anticipate. My God has NEVER failed and He accomplishes everything He intends and purposes — 


It is my prayer that I would more quickly move from the place of confusion and doubt, to a place of praise and worship, able to sing: “HE WILL NEVER FAIL!” even when I cannot make sense of my surroundings. I can trust that His purposes are better than anything I could ask, think, or imagine – and I can sing before I know the outcome, because I know that He will be there walking with me through whatever the future holds.

“Oh, call — call upon the Name
Jesus Christ — the only Name that saves

For there is no one like our God
There’s no one like our God
There’s nothing that can stand against You
There’s no stronghold You can’t break
No life that You can’t save

Our God You never fail
Strong through every trial
Faithful through the night
Our God will never fail

Anchor through the flood
You keep holding on
I know You’ll never fail
Jesus You’ll never fail”

“Let those who suffer
according to God’s will
entrust their souls to a faithful Creator
while doing good”
– 1 Peter 4:19

“The counsel of the Lord stands forever,
the plans of His heart to all generations”
– Psalm 33:11